Lightning & Flame
by funvince
Summary: Zuko wants to give Azula a second chance, but only after taking certain precautions. He's compassionate, not stupid. He wants to give her the chance that his uncle and Aang gave him. Whether she chooses to squander it is up to her.
1. Zuko's Decision

**LIGHTNING & FLAME**

Summary: Zuko wants to give Azula a second chance, but only after taking certain precautions. He's compassionate, not stupid. Aang realizes that he still has a long way to go to master the four elements. Team Avatar struggles to find their place in the new world. Post-series.

**I recently finished watched **_**Avatar: The Last Airbender **_**and I knew that I had to become part of the fandom. After reading some great fanfictions dealing with this series, I knew that I had to write one as well. But which characters should I focus on and what did I want to write about?**

**To my surprise, I found that I wanted to write about Azula. How would she fit into the new post-war world? The last we heard of the Fire Princess she was shipped off to a mental institution on an island somewhere. Hardly a suitable ending to such a great adversary.**

**And Azula is an interesting villain. She's much wittier and more nuanced than her father Ozai who is the standard 'madman who wants to take over the world and become a god' type. Yawn. **

**But what made me think Azula had more potential than just 'dangerous bad girl' was the episode **_**The Beach. **_**I came to realization that Azula is not only a deadly warrior but she's also a huge **_**dork**_**! I finally had reason to believe that she and Zuko were related. They're the two most socially awkward teens in the whole series! Azula is a melodramatic, overly serious teenager. Much like Zuko but far less angsty. I thought it would be interesting to explore that sibling relationship.**

**I knew that I also wanted Azula interacting with the Gaang because that would be entertaining. But I didn't want her becoming a 'goody two-shoes' either. She's not the type to admit that she's wrong. What I wanted was a dynamic similar to the one Spike (another dorky villain) had with Buffy Summers and her friends starting in the fourth season of **_**Buffy the Vampire Slayer **_**after his ability to harm humans was neutralized**_**. **_**The 'good guys' and the 'bad guy' could hate and verbally attack each other all they wanted, but there would be no significant risk of **_**physical**_** injuries to either side. **

**And thus a story was born...**

* * *

-Chapter 1: Zuko's Decision-

It had been about three months since Zuko placed his sister in a mental institution.

And this was the first time that he had come to visit.

As he looked down on his sister's sleeping face he wondered what he was doing here. It had been easy to forget about Azula in the first few weeks after he became Fire Lord as he struggled to bring the war to a close and maintain order. He hadn't had time for family matters.

No, that wasn't quite true. He had visited his father in prison a few times in the hope that the man would tell him what he knew about where his mother was. So lack of time wasn't the reason that prevented him from looking in on his sister. And despite what some people might think, the reason wasn't because he hated Azula or didn't care about her. The two of them had never been close, but he took family ties very seriously. One only had to look at the last three years of him tracking down the Avatar on his father's orders to know that.

The truth was that he couldn't bear to face Azula. He felt guilty about contributing to her breakdown. His friends would tell him that he was being ridiculous if they knew, but they weren't the ones who constantly relived the day that Sozin's Comet passed in their nightmares. They didn't have to remember the sight of his normally composed and austere sister dissolving into a wreck with mad laughter and wild eyes.

_"Traitor! Traitor! You're a traitor, Zuko!"_

These were the words Azula had screamed at him as she was dragged away by five members of the Imperial Guard. Mai had told him to ignore the ravings of a madwoman, but the problem was that, mad or not, Azula wasn't wrong. Zuko had betrayed his uncle then his father and now his sister. It didn't matter that Ozai and Azula had betrayed him first. It didn't change the fact that he was a traitor to his own family. It was a wonder that the Avatar and his friends trusted him at all.

Zuko looked around the room Azula was staying in. The walls were made of the same metal that was used at the Boiling Rock, but unlike the cells of that prison this room was better lit, more spacious, and it even had a few pieces of furniture (all made of non-flammable, unbreakable materials). The bed that Azula lied on was made of white marble and couldn't have been very comfortable, but according to the reports he had received she had rarely gotten up from it.

That behavior wasn't very surprising in the first month of her stay. For the first few weeks, the Fire Princess had been kept under heavy sedation, both for her safety and that of the staff's. Once her injuries had healed and the proper protocols for dealing with a potentially violent inmate who was also royalty were established, the doctors had gradually reduced the dosage of Azula's sleeping medication. Then they waited.

Zuko hadn't been able to get away from the palace the day that the drugs were to be completely flushed from his sister's system, but he was so worried about what might happen that he didn't get anything done that day. Azula may have been weak from weeks of being bedridden, but it wouldn't have surprised him to hear that upon becoming fully lucid she had immediately started attacking everyone around her.

The staff had been prepared for such a reaction. They were well-trained in dealing with unruly patients. After all, they worked at an institution for insane _firebenders_! Three employees with hoses had been standing by ready to instantly soak the princess if she so much as created a spark.

Yet despite all this preparation, the result was rather anti-climatic. Azula had simply opened her eyes, looked around at her surroundings, gave a heavy sigh and closed her eyes again. She had barely moved and had hardly spoken since then.

Zuko had expected many things, but he never would have expected his sister to become so listless and passive. He couldn't imagine her ever giving up on anything, but that appeared to be what she had done. He supposed that he shouldn't have been so surprised. In all the time he had known her Azula never reacted to anything like he predicted she would. Why would she start now?

_"This reaction wasn't completely unexpected," the doctor informed Zuko. Azula's treating physician, Doctor Kuzon, had personally arrived to the palace to tell Zuko of his patient's condition. Zuko had idly wondered if the elderly man was a descendant of Aang's old friend of the same name, but this wasn't the best time to ask._

_"What do you mean?"_

_Kuzon replied, "There are two possible reactions to losing everything one considers important and taking a battering to one's self-image. Either you lash out at everyone and everything or you withdraw into yourself."_

_"Are you saying my sister is catatonic?" Zuko asked, half-rising from his throne. His voice had also risen even though he had not intended that._

_"No, no, nothing like that. But Princess Azula is deeply depressed. Your sister has always had a strong, perfectionistic personality. It's only natural that her current circumstances has evoked within her feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. She has taken to sleeping the day away and ignoring all our attempts to help her."_

_"You do not believe that she is faking this?" Zuko asked. He hated to ask such a question, but he had to be certain about what he was hearing. _

_The doctor shook his head. "I have seen many patients in my career who have become like this. They lose all interest in doing anything. They have internalized the belief that nothing will ever get better and there's nothing they can do to improve their situation. If they weren't such failures, then they wouldn't have dropped so low in the first place. In that case, why bother to try and just fail all over again? _

_"Your sister has been under incredible pressure for probably most of her life. The shock of her recent losses has left her feeling lost and disoriented. And before you ask, I do not believe that she is suicidal. Regardless, we are keeping an eye on her in case things get worse."_

_Zuko didn't see how things could get much worse. The thought of his sister ever giving up on anything was profoundly disturbing. But there was nothing he could do about it, so he had to trust that the doctors knew what they were doing. _

_He hesitated on asking on his next question. "And has Azula shown any signs of... Do you remember the day that Sozin's Comet passed? Of course you do. That's a stupid question. What I meant to say was that... my sister was a little... off... that day and I was wondering..."_

_If the doctor was in any way surprised by the sight of the Fire Lord stumbling over his words and looking embarrassed, then he did an admirable job of covering it up. He said in a reassuring manner, "There have been no signs of the madness that afflicted her when she was taken to our facility. My colleagues and I believe that the princess suffered a temporary fit of insanity, a nervous breakdown, triggered by her friends' betrayal and exacerbated by her father naming her Fire Lord and leaving her to fend for herself."_

_Doctor Kuzon adjusted his glasses before he continued, "From what I gathered through various interviews with Princess Azula's servants and classmates, I had to conclude that your sister has some trust issues."_

_Zuko couldn't help but snort at such a massive understatement. He shifted guiltily in his seat when the older man patiently looked at him, clearly wondering if he could continue. _

_"Ahem. As I was saying, the progression of events in that span of time only served to deepen her natural paranoia and fear. She had lost her friends and her family. Worst of all, she had been unable to predict that any of these things would happen. Her sense that she was rapidly losing control - a trait she had always prided herself on having - only increased when she realized that she had no allies left to protect her from the inevitable threats to the throne. In my opinion, the final straw was..."_

_The doctor broke off, looking extremely uncomfortable._

_"What were you going to say?" Zuko demanded. When the doctor flinched at his tone, Zuko realized what the problem was. He lowered his voice and said calmly, "Doctor, I am not my father. I am not afraid of nor am I angered by people speaking their minds. I will never punish someone for having an opinion."_

_Zuko couldn't help but finger his scar as he said this._

_Kuzon cleared his throat then he said, "This is only speculation, but as I said, Princess Azula's psyche was already unraveling from the strain she was under. Your arrival at her coronation ceremony confirmed her worst fears and... unbalanced her mind."_

That was not what he wanted to hear.

While it was good news that his sister was no longer a raving lunatic, he still felt awful about contributing to her breakdown. Mai tried reassuring him that Azula had brought her troubles upon herself, but his guilt was not so easily soothed. His sister may have been vicious and cruel, but even she didn't deserve to lose her mind. She had always been so proud about her self-control. To see her breaking down before his eyes the day he defeated her had hurt him more than he thought it would.

Azula may not have known it, but her lucidity had saved her from sharing the same horrible fate as their father's. It would have pained him, but he would have asked Aang to remove her firebending if necessary. The last thing the world needed was a crazed warrior of Azula's caliber on the loose. But the last time he had brought up the subject the young monk had gotten uncharacteristically somber and refused to even entertain the notion.

_"I am not removing Azula's firebending," the Avatar said softly but firmly._

_"I don't want that either, but I can't keep Azula sedated forever either! What if she has gone irreversibly insane? The people at the institution may be well-trained but my sister's a genius! She could really hurt them or herself with her madness!"_

_Aang looked like he was in physical pain. He said, "If it reaches that point then I will have to make a decision. But, Zuko, I'm asking you as a friend to not ask me this again unless it's truly necessary."_

_Zuko decided to relent on that point. Aang was right. There was little point in worrying about this now. But he couldn't help asking, "Are you planning on never using this... energybending again? There are many dangerous benders in the world. People that won't back down because of your words. If you want to avoid taking their lives then you're going to have to-"_

_Aang glared at him with blazing eyes. "Don't you think I know that? I know that there may be times where I might have to... But I can't think like that! Energybending is a tool that's only to be used as a last resort. I can't use it for the same reason that I can't go around wiping out everyone I don't like!"_

_The young monk began pacing the room. He said, "The Avatar Spirit is the closest thing to absolute power there is. People love the Avatar but many fear its power. It's already hard enough to beat me as it is, and I'm only going to get stronger. How do you think people are going to react when they find out that I now have the power to take someone's bending away? It's better than killing, but it's still not something I want to make a habit of doing. I have to show restraint. Otherwise, I risk becoming what I'm supposed to fight." _

_"The Avatar has to remain neutral. That means I can't step into what is essentially a family affair. I will only act when there is an immediate threat. And in facing those threats I will take every possible option to avoid doing anything... irreversible. The temptation to take the easier path will always be there, and I have to be on guard against it. If I just went around energybending all potential threats then I'd have to start with most of the Fire Nation!" _

Zuko had dropped the matter after that. When Aang got that upset, it was best not to antagonize him. Personally, he thought his father had gotten off lightly by only losing his bending after facing the Avatar, but Aang had a good point when it came to the bigger picture. Oddly enough, Zuko had felt relieved about Aang refusing to neutralize his sister.

For all of her many faults, Azula truly was a prodigy. She spent hours every day perfecting every form and move. She was the only one in the family who had ever taken such joy and delight in firebending, unlike him or their father who had seen the fighting style merely as a means to an end. There was an artistry to her use of flame that many firebenders lacked.

Taking away her bending may very well drive her over the edge completely. Aang was right. Zuko couldn't depend on the Avatar to solve all his problems. If he wanted to deal with Azula, then he'd have to make the tough decisions and handle the consequences.

What he wanted to do was help his sister. He knew his friends probably wouldn't understand why he had to do this. To them, Azula had always been the ruthless villain who would do anything to achieve her aims. And they weren't wrong about that. Even as a child, Azula had been creepy and strange. He still felt quite a bit of resentment at how she always treated him like a joke.

But Zuko also remembered the little girl who insisted on dragging him around the palace to explore and play with her. He remembered their recent trip to Ember Island with Mai and Ty Lee and how much he enjoyed actually having fun with his sister for once. Sitting around that campfire that night, they hadn't been a bunch of nobles worrying about war but just a group of teenagers enjoying a trip to the beach.

He had to give his sister the second chance that Aang and Uncle had given him. Because the line that separated him from Azula was not as wide as he would like. Maybe he could never have been as heartless and cold as she was, but when it came to blindly following his father's orders, his hands were hardly clean. He had done things that he was not very proud of looking back on the last three years. How much worse would he have been if Father had never banished him? And if he hadn't turned against his father on the Day of Black Sun, would he have eventually ended up in a prison cell next to him?

That was why he needed to do something. He couldn't just sit back and allow Azula to simply waste away. To assuage his guilt and convince himself that he had tried everything he could to help Azula, he had to give her another chance. But while he was a compassionate man he wasn't an idiot. Uncle always scolded him for not thinking things true. This time he would.

No number of chances would help Azula if she couldn't accept that she could not continue as she had before. She would have to adjust to the world that he and the Avatar were trying to create. He had no idea if she could do that, and he had no way of verifying if she did.

Azula always lied. That had been his mantra for many years. The angelic face slumbering peacefully before him could turn demonic in the blink of an eye. No, he couldn't trust her. Fortunately, with his plan he wouldn't have to.

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**Please remember to review. Your feedback gives me motivation to write!**


	2. The Offer

-Chapter 2: The Offer-

He didn't know how long he sat there before he saw Azula begin to stir. This was it. This was the moment he had been preparing for since he had talked to Doctor Kuzon a month and a half ago.

So naturally he was affronted when all Azula did upon awakening was to blink groggily at him, mutter "Hello, Zuzu", and then shift her body into a different position before closing her eyes again.

Zuko was disturbed by Azula's rather unenthusiastic response at seeing him. He would have thought that his presence would have evoked an angrier response. Or at least a response that indicated some degree of interest into the reason he was here. Maybe Doctor Kuzon was right about Azula simply not caring about anything any longer. If that was true, then he didn't know what he was going to do.

When it became obvious that Azula wasn't going to say or do anything more, Zuko asked testily, "That's it? That's all you have to say to me after all this time? 'Hello Zuzu'?"

Still not opening her eyes, Azula said, "Ah, forgive my rudeness. Let me begin again. Greetings and salutations, _Fire Lord _Zuzu!"

Zuko ignored the mocking tone with an ease that came from long years of practice. And in a bizarre way, it relieved him to know that his sister still had enough spirit in her to make fun of him.

"Don't you want to know why I'm here?"

Azula finally opened her eyes and looked over at him. She said bitterly, "I think it's blatantly obvious that what _I _want doesn't matter any more."

"You're not even going to pretend to be interested so that you can figure out a way to take advantage of the situation? Come on! The new Fire Lord visits you and you can't see how you can turn things in your favor? You really have changed."

Azula gave a careless shrug.

Zuko got to his feet and stared down with an expression of contempt. He said, "So that's it? You've given up? I have to say that I'm disappointed in you, little sister. I wouldn't have thought you'd become the type of _weak _person who would try to escape from reality! I guess I don't blame you. If I was a sore loser like you then I'd also want to go to a dream world where I could pretend I still had my self-respect and dignity!"

Azula struggled to pull herself to a sitting position. With an enraged expression on her face, she said, "What do you want from me? You're here to gloat? You want my opinion about new curtains for your office? Can you get to the point and leave already? The last I heard, there were laws against torturing prisoners and if listening to you whine about how pathetic I am doesn't count, I don't know what does!"

He finally got the reaction he was looking for. He hadn't recognized this gaunt, unkempt woman as his sister until this moment.

Zuko sat back down in the chair and said quietly, "I want to help you."

"You're doing a stellar job so far," Azula replied sarcastically. She was breathing heavily and seemed dismayed that she was already out of breath from a simple tirade.

"I'm here to take you home."

Azula just stared at him as if she couldn't comprehend what he just said. Finally, she said, "You've never been very good at mind games, but I was almost convinced by that. Impressive."

"Azula, I'm serious!"

"You're always serious. That's your most annoying quality, Zuzu. That, and the fact that you're apparently still a naive fool. Has being Fire Lord made you lose your mind? Well, you wouldn't be the first. I can personally attest to that."

"I thought you'd be happy."

"What I _am _is suspicious. Do you really expect me to believe that you trust me to be around you? Why are you doing this, Zuko?"

Zuko noticed the use of his proper name. She was finally paying giving him her full attention He leaned forward and said, "Because if I leave you here, you'll die."

Azula rolled her eyes. "Why would you think that? Just because I'm not throwing tantrums like an infant and trying to set my helpers on fire like everyone expects of me?"

"Because you haven't once tried to escape. At first, I thought you were just trying to get everyone to lower their guards. But look at you! You can barely stand up! The Azula I know would never let herself be reduced to such a state. You seem content to simply waste away in here."

"I'm still not sure I see why this is any of your concern," Azula said coldly. "There are always winners and losers in war. Granted, I never expected to be the loser, but here we are. I appreciate your brotherly concern, but it's misguided. You have no obligation to me, and I will not accept your pity!"

"It's not pity-"

"What then?" Azula snapped. "You want me to be your chained hog-monkey? A pet you can trot out on special occasions to show what a benevolent and merciful ruler you are?"

Zuko glared at her. "It won't be like that! Look, you'd obviously still be a prisoner. Under house arrest, technically. But I intend to let you have as much freedom as is appropriate under the circumstances."

"That doesn't make any sense! Do you honestly believe that I'm no longer a threat to you? This is either a very bad joke or an insult, brother. What do you get out of this?"

Zuko sighed. He said, "Fear and greed aren't the only reasons that people do things."

"No, but they're the most reliable," Azula snapped. "If you tell me that you're doing this because you love me then I will laugh in your face."

Zuko could feel a headache forming. He rubbed his forehead as he said, "If it makes you feel better, one reason I want you close to me is so I can keep an eye on you. I am well aware that not everyone in the Fire Nation is happy with my new policies. It has occurred to me that there are probably certain groups that would prefer to see you on the throne, mentally ill or not, rather than me."

"Ouch," Azula said with a smirk. "Well, that seems reasonable enough. Honestly, Zuko, you could have just told me this in the first place and skipped all this nonsense about familial concern."

"I know you won't understand this, Azula, but I don't think it's nonsense to care about your family no matter what they've done. I still love Father despite everything. But he has to pay for his crimes. So do you, but unlike him you still have a future.

"You can still change. You've been living in a bubble your whole life. It took banishment and three years of Uncle pestering me before I realized that I had never truly been free. I had blinded myself to the obvious. People hated the Fire Nation, Azula. Many of them still do. I regret that in the past I had only helped perpetuate that fear and hatred. Don't you have any regrets?"

Azula stared back at him with a stony face. She said quietly but resolutely, "Regrets would imply that I have done something wrong. Everything I did was for our country and the Fire Lord. That's how it was supposed to be."

Zuko threw up his hands and gave a mirthless laugh. Then he said, "My country, right or wrong. An unsurprisingly common sentiment among our people. That's my problem. If I imprisoned everybody who felt like that then I'd have almost no subjects left. I suppose one hundred years of brainwashing isn't easily undone."

Azula's mouth curled into a sneer. She asked, "Is this where I break down weeping about how my horrible father and loveless childhood has made me a monster? You should leave the therapy to the professionals, Zuko. You're not any good at it."

"I don't think you're a monster," Zuko said softly.

"Liar," Azula said offhandedly like she couldn't care less about what he was saying.

Zuko got off his seat and knelt down next to Azula's marble bed. He repeated, "I don't think you're a monster."

A crack appeared in Azula's stony visage as she looked away. The first sign of vulnerability that she had shown in this conversation.

"Zuko..."

Azula suddenly shoved Zuko away with her foot and he fell backwards onto the floor.

"I don't know who you're trying to convince here. It's not a big deal. Everybody knows it. They all say it. Watch out for the evil princess, the mons- Ow!"

Zuko had kicked her in the shin. He got to his feet while his sister was rubbing her leg and giving him a petulant look. He was angry but not because Azula had shoved him. He leaned over so that he could look the other teenager in the eyes.

His voice dripping with disdain, he said, "Monster? Please, you flatter yourself. You're just a selfish, spoiled brat wallowing in self-pity. I have prisons filled with _real_ monsters. There are admirals, generals, soldiers of all ranks and stripes who will never see the light of day again because they have tortured and murdered civilians, raped women and children, roasted entire families for sport..."

Zuko had to turn away to compose himself. The reports he had read still gave him nightmares. It had been necessary for him to separate the soldiers who had only been doing their duty from the ones who had committed heinous war crimes. While he had always understood that it was a reality of war, especially one that had lasted a hundred years, for certain soldiers to become no better than animals, he had not been prepared to read the actual details of their savagery or to be faced with the sheer _number _of such acts.

Azula may have been a bully and been extremely self-centered and callous, but she wasn't the monster she made herself out to be. The few times Father had allowed Azula to leave the palace to fight in battle (she was the only official heir after all), she had always acted as a professional soldier for the Fire Nation. She didn't commit more violence than necessary to achieve her objectives.

Even when she was falling apart, the worst she had done was banish everyone from the palace. Whether or not she would have preferred to act in more gruesome ways was irrelevant. She hadn't. Her boasting about her self-control weren't lies. She could have been worse.

It wasn't that Azula was above brute force. When the situation called for it, she was truly terrifying. But she preferred to intimidate and crush her opponents with her brilliance. Azula was many things, but she wasn't stupid. Unnecessary violence only caused more problems than it solved.

The conquest of Ba Sing Se was a perfect example. It would have been too much to expect that she actually cared about the troops under her command, but her perfectionist tendencies had led her to minimizing casualties as best as she could. The soldiers may have been pawns to her, but it still galled her to lose pieces.

Ironically, Azula's admittedly ingenious plot of bringing the city down from within resulted in less bloodshed than would have occurred otherwise if the Fire Nation forces had broken through the wall. Obviously, nobody was going to give her a medal for that but considering that _Zuko _had helped with the final stages of that conquest he was grateful for the nearly bloodless coup.

Zuko would be the first to admit that his sister was a genuinely unpleasant person, but that wasn't a good reason to lock her away for the rest of her life. Technically, he didn't need a reason to do that, but he didn't want to be that kind of Fire Lord. Azula was his sister. She may not have been a very good one, but he couldn't simply turn his back on her. Uncle Iroh hadn't turned his back on him. Maybe his concern was misplaced and Azula was a hopeless cause, but he had to at least _try_ to help her.

Azula looked taken aback and she seemed uncertain as to what she should do or say next. This was such a rare sight that Zuko couldn't help but smile a little. He decided to get to the main reason that he was visiting Azula for today.

"Attack me," Zuko said.

"What?"

"I want to demonstrate something. So I want you to attack me."

Azula raised an eyebrow. "And have you kill me for attempting a prison escape? Let me get right on that."

Zuko rolled his eyes. "I don't need a reason to have you killed. Uh, not that I would. What I meant to say was-"

"Oh, please shut up."

Before she had even finished speaking, she had already leaped up from her bed. Having expected this, Zuko was able to easily evade her neck strike. He was also able to dodge the next several attacks because Azula's strikes were not as sharp or precise as they used to be.

Judging by her frustrated expression, Azula had apparently also noticed this. Her breath was coming out in sharp pants and her moves were slowing down. A look of determination flashed across her face, and Zuko jumped back just as Azula sank down into a basic firebending stance. She took a deep breath and pushed her palms out in front of her body. She was clearly gathering her internal energies to create a burst of flame.

Suddenly, she stiffened and toppled over onto the metal floor. Zuko winced a bit as she landed with a thud, face-first.

"What the hell have you done to me?" Azula mumbled into the floor.

"The paralysis should wear off in a few minutes," Zuko replied. His hands hovered uncertainly above his sister's body. "Should I, uh, roll you over...?"

"No, I'm really enjoying the taste of leftover cleaning solvents."

"So... uh..."

"Roll me over, you idiot!"

Zuko gently grasped Azula's shoulders and turned her onto her side. He then grabbed one of her wrists and held it in front of her face. He said, "Haven't you noticed the iron bands around your wrists, ankles, and neck?"

"Of course I have! I thought they were supposed to be manacles, but there weren't any chains or even holes for the bands to connect together."

"You didn't think that was odd?"

"I didn't really think about it nor did I really care. I figured that they were some new type of restraint for when the doctors decided I was 'better' and could go outside."

Zuko settled back onto his heels and grinned. "Well, in a way, you're right. These are definitely new. I knew that conventional restraints wouldn't be enough for you. So I had the Mechanist, Sokka, Toph, and Ty Lee create something that neutralized both your bending and your nonbending fighting skills."

Azula slowly pulled herself into a sitting position and rubbed her legs. She said, "All this just for me? You've always been overly sentimental, Zuzu."

Her words were mild, but there was definitely an undercurrent of menace in her voice.

Zuko ignored the daggers Azula's eyes were sending him and continued, "I don't know how they work, but what they do is very simple. When the cuffs detect your body temperature rising above a certain point - as when you're trying to firebend or exerting a lot of physical effort - acupuncture needles inside the bracelets will snap into your chi points cutting off your bending."

"As well as the rest of me," Azula pointed out dryly.

"Even if you didn't have your bending you'd still be extremely dangerous, so I needed something that took you out of the fight completely."

"Yes, because I'm clearly such a menace right now," Azula said looking down at her emaciated body with disgust. Then she asked quietly, "You said that Ty Lee helped you make this?"

Azula's voice held _something_ that Zuko couldn't quite identify. It wasn't quite anger and it wasn't quite sadness either but some strange mixture that somehow conveyed both a threat and a sob.

Zuko gave her a stern look. "It was either this or have your bending removed completely. She didn't want that. Neither did I."

He didn't bother to mention that as Aang had absolutely refused to remove Azula's bending without cause the only other option would have been to keep Azula locked up.

Azula studied the smooth, polished surface of the surprisingly light metal bands around her wrists. She said in a thoughtful tone, "So if I'm understanding you correctly, these things react to an increase in body temperature no matter what the cause?"

Zuko rubbed the back of his head ruefully. He replied, "There was no way to get around that. You'd probably be rather uncomfortable if you got a fever, but it's not like you'd be moving around much then anyway. And you'll probably want to avoid sitting in a hot bath for too long."

Azula's voice was icy. "And what about exercise and training?"

Zuko hesitated. He had irrationally hoped that his sister wouldn't catch on to that particular aspect. He chose his words carefully as he said, "You should be able to maintain a light regimen as long as you don't work up too much of a sweat-"

The sight of Azula's murderous gaze made Zuko extremely glad that he had tested out the efficacy of Azula's new restraints before telling her this news. But this sight also irritated him. It was just like his selfish sister to expect to gain something like greater freedom without having to sacrifice anything in return.

Zuko glared at her. "I should have known better than to expect gratitude."

"So I should be grateful that you plan to turn me into a soft and dainty princess?" Azula asked in a low and biting tone.

"No! I'm not planning anything like that!" Zuko exclaimed. Just imagining Azula giggling and twirling her hair like Ty Lee made him want to shudder.

"You don't leave me much of a choice here. You're a deadly weapon, Azula. As you correctly point out, I can't trust you. The only way I can have you around people I care about is to keep you out of shape and your bending neutralized. But it doesn't have to be this way forever."

"Because the first chance I get I'm getting these damn things off me?" Azula challenged.

"Give me some credit, Azula. I'm not just going to let you roam about the palace at will. First of all, you will be watched by guards at all times. By the way, these guards have been handpicked by Uncle and they have no personal connection or reason to be loyal to you whatsoever. Toph has also verified this."

"You keep mentioning this 'Toph'. She's the blind Earthbender, right?"

"Yes, one of her skills is detecting when someone is lying."

Azula smirked. "That didn't seem to work too well with me."

"I've heard about that. But Toph has a more important role in my plan than being a lie detector. She's going to be staying at the palace for the foreseeable future, so she is going to be the failsafe."

"Failsafe?"

"You probably know this already, but Toph's a metalbender. She helped make those restraints, so I accept her conclusion that they're nearly unbreakable."

"Nearly, you say," Azula said with a speculative gleam in her eyes. Zuko knew that she was simply trying to provoke him, but he was getting tired of Azula's tendency to treat everything like a game.

So he spoke more harshly than necessary when he said, "In the time that it would take you to get the restraints off your wrists and ankles or remove the one around your neck Toph would have already decapitated you."

Azula's hand gingerly grasped the collar around her neck as she stared at him with widened eyes.

Zuko felt bad about blowing up like this, but he needed his sister to take him and this situation seriously. He also hoped that Azula wouldn't call his bluff. Even if Toph could remotely metalbend, he wasn't sure that the girl would be able to kill someone so easily and gruesomely. But with his other measures it shouldn't have to come to that.

Azula stood up and walked over to her bed. She was facing the wall when she said, "Zuko, you've put a ridiculous amount of effort into this. What is it that you hope to accomplish?"

"I don't know," Zuko admitted. "Maybe this is a stupid idea, but I won't know that for certain until I try it. I'm offering you a chance, Azula, and I will only make this offer once. But be aware that no matter what you decide, those bands aren't coming off. So you can either wear them in this room where you can rot or at home where you can make something of yourself."

He was taking a risk making this offer to Azula in the form of an ultimatum, and he wouldn't been surprised if she refused him simply out of spite. Instead, Azula sounded amused as she replied, "You've finally grown a spine, Zuzu. I suppose your motivation for this doesn't matter. A gilded cage is still better than a dreary asylum, so my answer is yes."

Azula finally turned to face him. She crossed her arms and looked down on Zuko. Despite the unflattering hospital gown she was wearing she still managed to convey a regal bearing. She said, "I believe that it's only fair to warn you that taming me will not be as easy as you think."

"This is not about taming you, Azula," Zuko said in exasperation.

"Whatever you say, Zuzu."

Azula was right about one thing. This was definitely not going to be easy. But nothing in life worth doing ever was.

* * *

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	3. New Beginnings

-Chapter 3: New Beginnings-

Being Fire Lord was not all that it was cracked up to be.

Yes, it was nice to be treated with respect instead of derision. Having the power to affect millions of lives were terrifying, exhilarating, and humbling. And it was nice to be able to get a decent fruit tart with a snap of the fingers.

But the paperwork. The damned paperwork.

Zuko was not just the ruler of a nation, he was also the head of a bureaucracy. A bureaucracy that seemed determined to drive him insane. Everything from on-time delivery of grain transports to trade agreements to finding housing for the thousands of soldiers coming home was suddenly under his purview.

While it was possible and very advisable for him to delegate all these matters to others, he was in the middle of a government upheaval that had yet to settle down. Many long-time servants and ministers to his father had resigned or had to be let go in the wake of his coronation. The ones who had remained were still feeling out how his command style differed from Ozai's, and they were reluctant to do anything without passing it through him first.

He was currently sitting in his office trying to read a financial report from the State Treasurer, but the pounding in his skull made it impossible for him to concentrate. With a groan, he threw the document aside and started massaging his forehead with his fingers.

An amused laugh interrupted his thoughts.

"I'm glad that my misery entertains you," Zuko said without bothering to open his eyes.

"Maybe it's a good thing that I didn't officially become Fire Lord," Azula mused. "Though I imagine being a war leader would have been more exciting than whatever bureaucratic nonsense you're doing."

"And how often did Father actually do any fighting himself?" Zuko asked. He opened his eyes to look over at his sister who was lounging on the red couch in front of his desk.

Azula tapped her chin with a finger. She replied, "I suppose you have a point. But at least he made things happen instead of having things happen to him. Look at you. You're the most powerful man in the Fire Nation and everyone's running all over you."

"What exactly would you do differently?" Zuko asked wearily. Then because he was in a bad mood, he muttered snidely, "Considering it took less than a day for you to crack from paranoia, I'm not sure you're the best person to ask."

"It's not paranoia when others really are out to get you," Azula replied darkly. If she was offended by her brother's mention of her embarrassing and short-lived reign as sovereign, she didn't show it. Instead, she replied, "Your problem is that everyone is afraid to do anything without your supervision when they should be more afraid of bothering you with trivial concerns."

"While I am against terrifying my employees, you have a good point. I should be encouraging people to show more initiative."

"I find that threats of lashings and other horrible things to be a great motivating tool," Azula suggested helpfully.

Zuko rolled his eyes.

"What? I said _threats. _I've never actually had to carry them out! Well, once. Okay, a few times. But they were asking for it!"

Zuko could feel his headache increasing. He said, "I wish Uncle was here. He'd probably have some wise sayings that would clear things up."

"If you do your Uncle Iroh impression again, I can not be held responsible for my actions," Azula warned.

"Why are you in my office anyway? Shouldn't you be getting your hair done or nails painted or something?" Zuko asked.

Azula sat up and stared at him with a disbelieving expression. She then said, "I never thought I would say this, but I think I feel sorry for Mai."

"What did I say?" Zuko asked, bewildered. "I've seen you do these things!"

"It might be hard to believe, but I'm not really popular around here right now," Azula said, clearly not paying attention to Zuko. "I can't really do much when everyone runs away at me. It was flattering at first, but it got old."

"Being a crazy, evil princess might have something to do with that," Zuko said dryly.

"It's never bothered them before," Azula said.

Zuko could never tell when his sister was being serious or not, so he decided to ignore this. Instead, he said, "So you've decided to hang out with your brother? I'm sure watching me read border patrol reports is incredibly fascinating."

"No, it's horribly dull," Azula replied. "But I've been meaning to ask why you haven't introduced me to your friends yet. Ashamed of me, are you?"

"I wouldn't think you'd want to see them," Zuko said, sounding surprised.

"I don't. But I know how you think, brother. Part of your 'reform Azula' plan has to include me being buddy-buddy with the people who ruined my life. You're obtusely cruel like that."

"Hey!"

"Besides, unless you plan on hiding me whenever your friends come over, I'll have to talk to them sooner or later. Might as well get over with."

"You're in luck then. Aang, Katara, and Toph are coming back from Ba Sing Se today. They've been spending the last week attending meetings and helping with the reconstruction."

Zuko smiled at the memory of Toph's reaction at having to go back to the 'worst city in the world.' But as a Bei Fong, she had an obligation to go with her family to attend the Earth King's meetings. Of course, being Toph, she had planned to skip the meetings anyway, so Aang and Katara had been forced to practically drag her onto Appa.

"What about the guy with the horrid pony-tail?"

"_Sokka_ and his girlfriend, Suki, will probably be back in another week or two. They have some business at the South Pole with Chief Hadooka, and they're stopping by at Kyoshi Island before coming back here," Zuko said. "And that's why I've had to keep an eye on you myself the past few days."

Azula smirked at Zuko's grumpy tone. She asked, "Am I keeping you away from your precious fiancee?"

"I've told you before that we're not engaged! What makes you think that Mai would be interested in marrying me anyway?"

Azula rolled her eyes. "Call it a hunch."

Zuko hesitated a moment before asking, "Are you interested in see-"

"No."

The abruptness of his sister's response and the flat tone in which it was delivered persuaded him that Mai had been correct to decide to go spend a few weeks with her family. His girlfriend had never been a person who backed down from confrontation, but she thought that his endeavor would fall apart quickly enough without her around making things worse.

He was used to such cynicism from Mai and didn't let it bother him too much. Sooner or later, the two women would have to meet, but there was no point in worrying about that now.

"So I've been watching you drown in a sea of domestic complaints all week. How are things on the foreign policy front?" Azula asked, obviously trying to change the subject. "I can't imagine that your new _allies_ are happy about you allowing the Conqueror of Ba Sing Se run around the palace."

Zuko shrugged his shoulders. He said, "As you might expect, they're not especially happy with me. Considering that I was at your side when you took over Ba Sing Se, my putting you under house arrest does look rather self-serving. The Earth Kingdom diplomats are complaining that I've essentially pardoned you because you're my sister."

"Ah, shameless displays of nepotism. You really are a nobleman, Zuzu."

"I think I'm way past the point where I care what others think of me," Zuko said dryly.

"That makes you either a very stupid politician or a very astute one."

Zuko gave a heavy sigh then he said, "They'll get over it. I've expected this response and have instructed our diplomats to increase the amounts of reparations and manpower we are willing to offer to make up for all the damage the Fire Nation has caused. That should quell most of the complaints."

"Can we afford to do that?" Azula asked. Zuko was surprised to see an expression of genuine concern flash across his sister's face. He didn't know whether it was out of a sense of noblesse oblige or fear of a peasant uprising, but he made a mental note about it.

Zuko stood up and stretched his back. He said, "War is a surprisingly profitable enterprise... for the war-mongers, which happens to be us. Even with our debts, we're still much more prosperous than the other nations... for obvious reasons. It won't be easy, but with the new trade routes opening up, I think we can weather through in the long-term."

The doors to his office opened.

"That's a surprisingly upbeat attitude. Aren't you supposed to be the pessimist?" Katara asked as she walked in with Aang and Toph following behind her.

"No, that's your brother," Zuko quipped with a smile.

Katara stepped forward to give him a hug, but her smile faded when her gaze landed upon the figure on the couch.

The waterbender regarded Azula warily as the other girl stood up. With a curt nod, Katara said, "Azula."

Azula smiled thinly. "Peasant."

Katara clenched her fists and said angrily, "That was uncalled for!"

Azula shrugged then said, "I'm not overjoyed to see the girl who got me dragged off to the loony bin. What a surprise."

"I can't believe you're blaming me for that! You're the one who cheated in the Agni Kai and got me involved!"

"As if you wouldn't have struck me down in the instant I defeated Zuko," Azula scoffed.

Katara threw up her hands in disbelief. She said, "No, I wouldn't have because _some of us _have honor and aren't crazy psychopaths!"

Azula looked over at her brother and asked, "Zuzu, I know she's your friend, but are you really going to let a _peasant_ speak to me like that?"

"Stop calling me that! Not that it matters, but I'm the daughter of the Southern Water Tribe Chief! Yes, technically, our family's not really royalty, but it's not like I'm some country hick!"

Azula raised her eyebrows then gave a mock bow. She said, "I do apologize, _your Highness_. I didn't realize that I was speaking to the Queen of the Penguins."

Toph started laughing.

"Toph!" Katara cried.

"Sorry, Sugar Queen, but she got you good. Platypus Bear may be bonkers, but she knows how to trash-talk."

"What did you call me?" Azula asked, giving the short girl a curious look.

"Didn't you once say that you were a 400 foot tall platypus bear with pink horns and silver wings?" Toph asked with a cheeky grin.

"At least it's better than Sparky," Zuko muttered.

"Would you prefer Feet Burner?"

"No, no, Sparky's good," Zuko said quickly.

"How can you give her a _nickname_? She tried to kill all of us! She tried to kill Aang!" Katara shouted.

"So did Sparky," Toph pointed out. "Remember Combustion Man?"

"That's not his name-" Zuko tried to say.

"It's not the same!" Katura turned to Zuko with a pleading look. "I know that we've already discussed this, and I know your family is none of my business, but I really think you should rethink this. Azula was your father's biggest supporter!"

Zuko looked at Katara coldly. He said, "Yes, she did support my father. I did as well, if you remember. So did Uncle Iroh, Mai, Ty Lee, Jeong Jeong, my mother... the list goes on and on. Should I imprison all of them and myself as well?"

"It's not the same," Katara repeated. "I believe all of those people regretted their past mistakes and are trying to make up for them. I believe the same about you. But does Azula regret anything that she has done to us?"

Zuko looked over at Azula's furious face. She jutted her chin at him defiantly as if daring him to find a sign of weakness in her. But he could tell that she was watching him closely and wondering whether his mind had changed about helping her.

"Katara, this is not up for discussion," Zuko replied firmly. "I understand your feelings, but Azula is not a danger to anyone right now. You do not have to support me in this, but I will ask that you refrain from arguing about my sister's probation in front of her. It is rude and uncivil."

"_She's _rude and uncivil!" Katara protested.

"Yes, but you're supposed to be the better example," Zuko replied.

"He's got you there, _Mom_," Toph pointed out gleefully.

"Toph, how many times do I have to tell you-"

After Katara's attention was diverted to scolding the blind earthbender, Zuko turned to Azula and asked, "Would you mind not provoking my friends?"

Azula crossed her arms and glared at him. She said, "It's bad enough that I currently have all the fighting ability of a turtle-duck, but you're going to take away the only weapon I have left?"

"Why do you have to turn everything into a battle? You seem much angrier at Katara than you are at me. Why is that?"

Azula turned her face away from him and didn't reply.

With a sigh, Zuko turned to the only one of his friends who hadn't spoken yet. He said, "You've been very quiet, Aang. Don't you have an opinion?"

The younger boy looked at him with a thoughtful expression, and Zuko waited patiently for him to speak his mind. In his opinion, Aang had really grown up in the past few months. He was still the same fun-loving boy that Zuko had first met, but after his fight with Ozai, Aang had started being more earnest about his responsibilities as Avatar and as a representative of his lost people. Aang's demeanor had always had the effect of strength and gentleness, but the weight of the world had given him an intensity that he had lacked before.

The changes in him had not only been mental but physical as well. The boy had recently gotten a growth spurt and lost much of the baby fat he had retained. He had taken to wearing a reproduction of the Air Nomad clothing he had worn when and Zuko had first met as he thought it made him seem more accessible. It did but the way the clothing hung on his now 13-year-old body served to remind Zuko of how much things had really changed since that fateful day in the South Pole so long ago.

Finally, Aang said, "I do agree with Katata that if Azula doesn't want to change then nothing can be done for her."

"But-"

Aang held up a hand to halt Zuko's protest and then he continued, "However, I also believe in redemption. Everyone should have the opportunity to decide if they want to change for the better. It is not my place to judge whether Azula or anyone is beyond saving."

"What a load of crap," Azula suddenly said. "Both of you talk about forgiveness and mercy, but I don't see either of you clamoring to let Father out of jail so he can 're-invent' himself."

Aang didn't blink at this challenge. He replied, "There are many ways of taking responsibility for one's actions. The severity of your father's crimes demands a different response than yours. Also, your father is still too full of hatred and bitterness to accept help from anyone. He is not yet ready to open his mind and go down a new path."

"But I am?" Azula asked. Her face was unreadable.

"That remains to be seen."

Azula reached out and grabbed the front of Aang's robe.

"Aang!" Katara yelled. She grabbed the water pouch at her side but paused when Aang waved her off.

Azula didn't seem to notice this. She drew her face in closer to Aang's then said harshly, "I tried to kill you, Avatar. And you have no way of knowing whether I'd try to do it again. There are many ways I can take your life that wouldn't raise my body temperature one degree."

Aang met her gaze calmly and without expression. "This is true. But you have never done anything without a lot of forethought and consideration. All Zuko and I am asking from you is to give your life and your future some of that consideration. I do not trust you, but I do trust Zuko. And I trust his judgment that this is a risk worth taking."

"Because Zuko has always had such a _reliable_ moral compass," Azula said sarcastically, releasing Aang's robe and pushing him away. But her voice was filled with much less venom than Zuko would have expected.

"Life is about making choices and learning from them," Aang said sagely as he adjusted his clothing. "Perhaps the path you ultimately take would not be one that I would travel, but it would be your choice. A choice made out of deliberation and not inertia. My duty is to find the balance in all things. This includes you, Azula."

There was a long moment of silence as nobody seemed to know what to say. This continued until Toph spoke up.

"Are you done with the wise old man routine yet, Twinkletoes? It's creepy coming from a kid my age and I've had to put up with it all week!"

Aang finally smiled and the expression took years off his features making him look like the child he was supposed to be. He said playfully, "You're just mad because the Earth King wouldn't take your suggestion about having the next Earth Rumble tournament in his city."

"That guy's such a killjoy," Toph complained. "I think Bosco was on my side though."

"I think he just wanted to eat you," Aang teased.

"I'm surprised at your prejudice, Aang!" Katara said with mock surprise. "Is it because Bosco's an animal? What would Appa and Momo think?"

Zuko watched the bantering with amusement and was trying to think of a witty line to interject with when he saw Azula drift over to his side.

"Are they always like this?" Azula asked. She wrinkled her nose like she had just smelled something foul.

"Pretty much."

"This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed." (1)

"You haven't seen anything yet. Wait until Sokka and Suki get here!" Zuko replied with a grin. "If you think _this _is nonsensical gibberish..."

"I think I was right with my first impression," Azula announced. "You are trying to drive me insane."

For such a sadistic and cruel girl, Azula could be quite a whiner, Zuko thought. But he decided to keep this sentiment to himself.

* * *

**Please remember to review. Your feedback gives me motivation to write!**

(1) Bonus points if you figure out where I lifted this line from.


	4. Learning Never Ends

-Chapter 4: Learning Never Ends-

What disturbed Aang the most about seeing Azula again was seeing the lack of fire in her eyes.

There were a few sparks here and there when she was bickering with Katara, but other than that it felt like she was just going through the motions with her sarcastic quips and complaints. What struck Aang the most was how fragile and lost the older girl seemed. She was putting on a strong face, but it was just a facade. He could tell because there had been times when he had seen the same dull expression in his reflection.

He would be the first to admit that he didn't have the best opinion of Azula. Being struck by lightning tended to leave a negative impression about a person. Yet he couldn't help but feel sorry for her when he saw her in Zuko's office standing off to the side watching the rest of them with a slightly bewildered look.

He knew what it was like to feel like an outsider, to suddenly find himself cast adrift in a world that he didn't quite understand. He knew what it was like to lose the pillars of his identity and his place in the world in the blink of an eye. Aang knew that he didn't have much in common with this person who had been such a menace to him and his friends for so long, but he and she shared at least that much.

The woman he saw now was a far cry from the wrathful Fire Princess that he remembered clashing with. Her months as an invalid had left her standing unsteadily on her feet without her natural cat-like grace. Her hair had been shorn short and the way she automatically tried to brush away locks of hair that no longer existed showed how self-conscious she was. She wore her usual Fire Nation royal robes, but they seemed oddly ill-fitting on her now.

Aang mentioned a few of these observations to Katara as they went to their rooms to unpack their luggage before lunch.

"Ugh, not you too. I don't get why everyone's suddenly feeling sorry for Ms. Homicidal Maniac," Katara complained as she forcefully opened her trunk. "She would never feel sorry for _us._ She'd probably laugh at our misery."

"That means we should react the same way then?" Aang asked as he used a bit of airbending to send his extra robes flying into the closet.

"That's not what I meant," Katara replied. "I'm not against giving people second chances. I'm against wasting everybody's time. My point is that Azula _enjoys _hurting people. She doesn't care about anyone besides herself! Zuko's just setting himself up for heartache."

"We don't really know anything about Azula," Aang pointed out. "We've never really talked after all. And don't you think Zuko knows his sister a bit better than we do?"

"I suppose," Katara agreed reluctantly.

Aang gave his girlfriend a thoughtful look. He asked, "Why do you hate her so much, Katara? I don't think it's just because she hurt me and Zuko."

"Those aren't good enough reasons?" Katara asked lightly. Then she sighed when she saw that Aang wasn't smiling. She said, "Maybe it's not fair, but when I look at Azula I see the Fire Nation troops who invaded my home and killed my mother. Arrogant, smug, uncaring. So certain that we were _inferior _to them just because we weren't Fire Nation."

Katara sat down on her bed with a sigh. She said, "I used to think Zuko was like that too. Until he convinced me that he knew that what he'd been doing was wrong and that he wanted to make up for it."

Aang walked over and sat down on the bed next to her. He asked, "Who would you say was the biggest influence on your sense of right and wrong?"

"I'd have to say Gran-Gran. I mean, mom and dad taught me stuff too but for most of my life it was just me, Sokka, and my grandmother..." Katara trailed off and she turned to Aang with an incredulous look. "Are you trying to suggest that Azula wouldn't be so messed up if she had better _role models_?"

Aang shrugged. He replied, "I don't know, but I don't think that anyone is _born _bad. I just can't believe that. Look, I'm certainly not Azula's biggest fan, but I've been thinking about this since Zuko told us what he was planning to do. As an agent for peace, I have to able to put myself in other people's shoes. Azula has never had the positive influences that Zuko had, and even with Zuko it took a long time for him to come around to helping us. I'm not excusing Azula's actions, but I think she could have been much worse."

"So she's another recipient of the 'Could Be Worse' award?" Katara asked dryly.

"She could have killed Suki and the other Kyoshi Warriors. She didn't need them for information. Azula didn't have to accept their surrender. She was the Crown Princess. Nobody would have protested," Aang pointed out.

"Similarly, she could have had Mai and Ty Lee executed for treason. She didn't do that either. And the Council of Five in Ba Sing Se are still alive! So is Long Feng! She was surprisingly merciful for a conqueror."

"She just likes to keep her options open," Katara said dismissively.

"I'm just saying that while I'm sure Azula is a ruthless person, I don't think she takes killing as lightly as you or even she would like to think."

"Yeah, I could tell she was really broken up inside when she tried to kill you with lightning," Katara said sarcastically.

Aang sighed. He felt a little frustrated. He didn't _want _to defend Azula, but he felt obligated to stick up for Zuko's decision. He said, "I can't believe that I'm the one who has to point this out being the pacifist and all, but we were at war. I was about to go into the Avatar State. Let me ask you this. What do you think Sokka would have done if he was in Azula's situation and I was about to wipe out everyone around?"

Katara shifted uncomfortably and she turned her gaze away. The memory of Sokka's casual decapitation of the Melon Lord flashed through his mind, and he knew Katara was thinking about it as well. For all of her brother's jocularity, Sokka was a warrior and had a pragmatic attitude when it came to defeating enemies. Mercy and compassion were fine qualities to have unless they became liabilities to the mission.

"Maybe he would have done the same thing," Katara finally said. "But he would have regretted it. That's what makes him different from her."

"You could be right," Aang agreed. "But like I said before we don't really know anything about Azula. You don't really know what she does and doesn't feel. And in any event, it's not our decision to make. It's Zuko's."

This time Katara sighed, and Aang could feel a wave of resignation come over her. She said softly, "Zuko's our friend. I don't want to see him get hurt."

"I don't either," Aang said. "But I think having Azula around is actually good for Zuko. It's very strange that even though they apparently get on each other's nerves he seems to enjoy talking with her."

"He just likes baiting her. Brothers are annoying like that," Katara said with the air of someone speaking from long experience.

Aang remembered the numerous verbal battles between the Water Tribe siblings and had to smother a smirk. He said, "I think it's lonely being Fire Lord. It's hard to find people who aren't afraid of him, and we can't always be around for him. There's Mai, of course, but I can see how there might be times that Zuko would be hesitant to talk to her about his problems."

"You think Zuko's worried about looking weak in front of his girlfriend?"

Aang gave her a 'do you really have to ask?' look.

"Oh, right. We're talking about Zuko. Sometimes, I think Toph should call him Angsty instead of Sparky."

Aang grinned at that. He said, "Zuko needs more people his age that he can talk to. Someone he can vent to without worrying that they'll think he's soft. From everything I've heard, Azula already thinks he's soft so there's no problem there. As long as she behaves herself, this could be good for both of them."

"What if she doesn't behave? What if she worms her way into his confidence and manipulates him?"

Aang had to smile at Katara's concern. Just a few short months ago, she wouldn't have batted an eye at the thought of Zuko suffering. She would have said that he deserved it. But things had changed since then.

The young monk said, "I don't think you're giving Zuko enough credit. He's tough and he knows the risks. And we'll still be there for him even if it's not all the time. We'll deal with any problems that come up together."

Katara shook her head, but he could tell that her opposition was weakening. She said quietly, "I intend to support Zuko even if I don't agree with him. It's just that this plan seems so risky to me. Not everybody can be saved, Aang."

"I don't believe that," Aang replied. He reached over and gently grabbed Katara's hand. He said with a teasing grin, "And I know you love that about me."

Katara smiled back at him. She said, "I wish I could be more like you. I don't know how you can be so forgiving towards people who have hurt you."

"It's not like I can't hate. You know that better than anyone. I hated the Fire Nation soldiers who killed Monk Gyatso and my people. I hated the sandbenders who kidnapped Appa. I even hated Ozai for making my friends suffer and almost making me a murderer. But I don't want to hold onto hate. Holding onto anger and pain doesn't change anything, and it hurts me more than it hurts the person I'm hating."

Katara said, "I kinda felt the same way when I confronted the man who killed my mom... I still can't forgive him, but I know that it's not healthy to carry these negative emotions around with me. I'm so used to the burden though that I feel like I'd be losing something if I let it go. Does that make any sense?"

Aang wanted to tell her that she didn't have to carry such pain around alone. That he was willing to share any burden she had and to help lighten the weight on her shoulders even a little bit. He wanted to tell her how much he wished that he could heal the tears within her heart.

But despite all of his perceived wisdom, there was just some things that were too embarrassing for a teenage boy to day. So instead, he leaned over and kissed her, hoping that was an appropriate response.

Judging by her fervent return of his kiss, he supposed that it was.

* * *

"So, Toph, do you have more amusing anecdotes about how The Duke tried to hit on you the whole time you were in Ba Sing Se?"

"Bite me, Sparky."

Zuko snickered in a decidedly unroyal way.

"Stop teasing her, Zuko. Being crushed on by an eight year old must be very awkward for her," Katara said. But the smirk on her face were at odds with her scolding tone. "I do have to say that his puppy love is _very _cute and romantic though. Wouldn't you agree, Toph?"

Zuko broke out into full-throated laughter and a few moments later, Katara joined him.

Toph thumped the table with her fists. She said, "Laugh it up, smucks. But don't be surprised when you wake up buried in a mountain!"

Neither Katara nor Zuko seemed very intimidated by this threat.

Then Toph added, "Besides, I'm not the one robbing the cradle here, _Katara._"

"Hey, leave me out of this!" Aang protested.

The group of old friends, plus Azula, were having lunch out on the terrace in the Royal Garden. It had been awhile since Aang got to just sit back and act like a kid. Watching his friends banter while he ate his vegetable soup was a very refreshing activity. Aang only wished that Sokka and Suki were here already so that their group would feel complete.

There was also one other problem...

Sitting between him and Zuko, Azula ate silently and deliberately. She was the perfect picture of decorum and poise. Aang had tried to gently include her into the conversation, but he had been politely but unmistakably rebuffed. He wasn't insulted. It had to be humiliating to eat among one's former adversaries. He remembered his first meals with Zuko after the teen had agreed to be his firebending teacher. They had been rather awkward.

Perhaps it would be better to let the girl decide on her own terms if she wanted to interact with them, but he had the feeling that wouldn't happen any time soon if she was left to her own devices. He would have to keep an eye on that. Still, there was plenty of time, and it probably wasn't a good idea to force Azula to do anything that she didn't want to do.

"Aang, how long will you be able to stay this time?" Zuko asked after the servants came out with the main dishes.

Aang grinned. "Indefinitely."

"So you still intend to resume your training?"

At the mention of training, Azula looked up from her pheasant-duck curiously.

For Azula's benefit, Aang decided to explain. He said, "For the last few months, I've been running around trying to put out as many fires as I could. I've been able to help a lot of people, but sometimes I succeed solely out of luck rather than skill. I've discovered that there's so much about being the Avatar that I simply don't know, especially when it comes to being the bridge between our world and the Spirit World."

Aang sighed heavily then he said, "Everybody thinks that because I'm the Avatar that I should be able to move mountains and control the weather. The worst part is that they're not wrong to expect that. I _should _be able to do things like that even when I'm not in the Avatar State. I _have _done things like that. Past Avatar mes, I mean."

"You're selling yourself a little short there, Aang," Zuko said. "From the reports I've read and what you've told me, you did some very impressive feats when you defeated my father."

"I definitely have a lot of raw power and I certainly have more control over the elements than I used to, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm still at best a half-trained Avatar. Half the time I don't realize that I can do something until after I've already done it! I still can't do a third of the things that Toph does without even thinking, and that doesn't even include metalbending! I can't shoot lightning or pull water out of thin air. There's still so much I have to learn!"

"You can probably scratch Air off your list though," Katara said.

Aang shook his head. He replied, "No, I can't. You guys think I'm a master airbender, but that's only because I'm the only one you've ever seen. I'll admit that the monks thought I was a prodigy. That shouldn't come as a surprise being what I am, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm only thirteen years old. There are just some things that can only come with a lot of practice and experience. Monk Gyatso could do tricks with wind that I've never even dared to try yet!"

And the only way he'd learn how to do them now would be through old, crumbling scrolls, Aang thought sadly.

"I get what you're saying, Twinkletoes. You got a lot of oomph in your engine, but you still don't really know how or when to change gears. Spirits know that you have all the subtlety of an elephant-elk when it comes to earthbending. But that was enough to kick the Fire Lord's butt. I say the best way to gain experience is on the field so why don't you just keeping doing what you've been doing so far?"

"Because if I die because I didn't know something very basic, the Avatar is out of commission for, realistically, at least the next decade? Not to mention that it would be incredibly embarrassing?"

"Oh yeah. I suppose there's that."

"I had to rush my training because of the threat of the Fire Nation. I wasn't even supposed to discover that I was the Avatar until I was sixteen! It was fine for me to take shortcuts when Ozai was trying to take over the world, but now I have to do things the right way. That means I can't be half-hearted about training any more. People could get hurt if I don't know how to properly control my bending."

"Do you really have time for that? I read that it took Avatar Roku twelve years to become a fully realized Avatar. I don't think that the world can afford to be without you that long," Zuko said.

"If there's a real emergency then I'll go take care of it. I'm also going to continue with my diplomatic work, but my first priority has to be becoming an effective Avatar and not just a lucky one. Besides, it's never been the Avatar's job to solve every problem in the world. For one thing, it's impossible and I can't be everywhere. Also, I don't think that it's going to take me twelve years.

"Roku didn't train every day. He spent much of his time learning about the different cultures and peoples he had to live among. Part of being Avatar is learning about how the Four Nations share more similarities than differences. As an Air Nomad, I've already done a lot of that. Roku could also afford to learn at a slower pace in the relative time of peace. I don't have that luxury, but that's no excuse to neglect training. I still have a long way to go before I truly master the four elements. If I'm serious and have good teachers, it shouldn't take as long."

Toph snorted. "You have the attention span of a gnat-fly. I'll be surprised if it takes you less than twenty years!"

"Toph! Is that any way to support a friend?" Katara scolded.

"Just calling them like I see them," Toph replied, leaning back in her chair and plopping her feet on the table.

"Well, there will be no slacking off when it comes to Aang's firebending lessons," Zuko said. "I am a very strict taskmaster."

"Sifu Hotman is the worst," Aang agreed.

"Stop calling me that!"

"Wait a moment," Azula said, raising her head as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "_You _were the Avatar's firebending teacher?"

"Of course!" Zuko exclaimed. "Who did you think it was?"

"Somebody competent?"

Zuko looked like he had been slapped. With an angry growl, he said, "Ha! I was good enough to beat you in Agni Kai!"

Azula waved off his objection and replied condescendingly, "Yes, you defeated the mentally ill woman. Very impressive. Perhaps we could go find some toddlers for you to beat down."

"I'll take you on right now!" Zuko snapped. Then his face flushed in embarrassment. "Uh..."

"Has his mouth always outraced his brain?" Toph asked Azula.

Azula smirked. "You've heard the story about how he was banished, right?"

"Ha, ha. Let's all laugh at the guy with the scar."

Toph shrugged. "I can't _see_ your scar. I'm laughing at you for other reasons."

Azula turned to Aang. In an imperious tone, she said, "Show me the first Dragon's Breath form!"

"I just finished eating..."

Aang's words were cut off by Azula's glare. Utterly confused but not wanting to further upset the Fire Princess, Aang leaped out of his seat into a basic firebending stance and began the kata.

A few minutes later, Azula gave a heavy sigh. She said, "Oh, Agni, what has Zuko been teaching you? Your strikes are too stiff, your timing's off, and you completely butchered the finishing move."

"Azula, we all know that you're a firebending genius. You don't have to keep shoving it in my face!" Zuko said.

Azula rolled her eyes. She replied, "I am merely offering some constructive criticism, but if you would prefer to have the Avatar throwing fireballs around like a drunken sailor then, by all means, continue."

Zuko looked like he was about to spontaneously combust. But before he could say anything, Katara asked, "Why are you so interested in this, Azula? I wouldn't have thought that you'd want to help Aang improve his bending."

"I couldn't care less about that," Azula replied, crossing her arms. "What I care about is our family's reputation."

Katara gave her a shocked look. "Reputation? Your father tried to burn the Earth Kingdom to the ground!"

Azula shrugged. She said, "It is better to be feared than loved. Anyway, the Avatar is supposed to be taught by masters of renowned skill and experience. What does it say about our family's skills when his firebending is substandard? I suppose you wouldn't understand."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Katara asked, her eyes narrowing.

"I heard you were made a master when you and the Avatar were training at the North Pole," Azula said. She gave the other girl a dismissive look. "Clearly, an emergency promotion."

Aang decided that it was time for him to play peacemaker again. His instincts screamed 'danger!' as he stepped in between the two women, but he clamped down on them. He said, "Katara is a really talented waterbender, and I won't have anyone disparaging that. Even Master Pakku was impressed with how much she already knew from having to _teach herself _how to bend water. I think we can all agree that there is room for improvement in all of us. We should be helping each other grow instead of arguing about our weaknesses."

Sensing that Katara was calming down, Aang directed all of his attention toward Azula. He said kindly but firmly, "Azula, I don't mind if you want to come watch my firebending lessons and give me some tips. I'm sure your experience would be very helpful. But there is one condition. You will remember that Zuko is my sifu and treat him with respect."

Azula stared at him, and for a moment he thought she was going to refuse. But then she said formally, "I agree to your terms, Avatar. I will see you in the training arena."

Aang watched Azula leave the garden with her contingent of guards then he turned to Zuko. He said, "I hope you don't mind that I invited Azula to our lessons."

Zuko shook his head. He replied, "I probably would have done so myself if she hadn't decided to demonstrate her immense lack of tact!"

Aang smiled. "I would joke that firebending is not Azula's only special talent, but making you angry isn't really that difficult."

Zuko gave him an unamused look. Then he said, "I think this will either be very helpful or a complete disaster. Either way, you're right about the need to keep learning. Uncle has always scolded me for rushing through the basics. I think I understand now why he was always so hesitant to teach me the advanced forms. He knew that he wouldn't be doing me any favors."

"We should definitely invite him to come give us some training some time," Aang said.

Zuko smiled. "I think he would like that."

"Did you see the look in Azula's eyes before she left?" Aang suddenly asked.

"What do you mean?" Zuko asked, looking confused.

Aang was about to answer, but then he decided that Zuko would see it soon enough. He would see the spark that had ignited when Aang asked Azula if she would help train him. Because while she may have hated him, she hated not having a purpose in life even more.

* * *

**Please remember to review. Your feedback gives me motivation to write!**


	5. Fire's Qualities

-Chapter 5: Fire's Qualities-

Another week passed and Azula began to looked more nourished and less like a walking cadaver. The color had returned to her cheeks and her movements were becoming less jerky as time went by.

Aang had discovered a few things about Azula in that time. One, her vanity was only outmatched by the size of her ego. Two, she didn't seem to understand that most people did not find it complimentary to be compared to a naval battlecruiser. Three, she was definitely a firebending prodigy but...

"How many times do I have to tell you that your snap kicks are too slow? And your stance is two centimeters too wide! Your flame punches aren't hot enough! That type of heat production wouldn't melt a _candle _much less a panda-cat that's trying to rip your face off! And another thing..."

...she was also a _horrible_ teacher.

Azula was a genius when it came to pointing out the flaws in his technique, but the old saying about those who can do, can't teach seemed to apply here. Azula often got frustrated that he couldn't understand what seemed like very simple concepts to her. He got exasperated that she simply assumed that he grasped everything she was saying and just plowed ahead before he was ready.

Aang knew that he shouldn't complain. It was his idea to try to perfect his moves, but he wished that Azula would understand that he was trying his best and be more patient. Aang had known that Azula would probably be a difficult teacher to have, but she wouldn't be his first. He figured that since he had managed to work things out with Toph, he would be able to come to an understanding with Azula as far it hadn't worked out that way.

How had Azula ended up as one of his teachers again? In the beginning, Zuko had taught all of the firebending lessons while Azula stood off to the side giving constructive criticism. She had kept her word about being respectful, but Zuko seemed to take all of her comments personally no matter how bland Azula made them. It seemed that while Zuko could shrug off most of Azula's sarcastic quips, any mention about the quality of his firebending just set him off. Clearly, the Fire Lord had some unresolved issues on that subject.

It didn't help that even when Azula didn't say anything she seemed incapable of hiding how pained she was by Zuko's instruction. So the three of them had worked out the compromise of split lessons. Azula would work with Aang on the basics while Zuko would teach the more intermediate stuff and the sparring. Zuko mentioned that at some point he would have his uncle or Jeong Jeong come give him more advanced lessons.

Azula sighed. Then she said, "Let me show you how it's supposed to be done. Or how it's done when you're only allowed to move a tenth of your normal speed. You'll just have to imagine how the real thing looks."

The bitterness in her voice was palpable. Aang wondered if allowing Azula to teach him was truly a good idea. Most of the time the girl seemed to revel in being his drill instructor. It was probably the closest she'd ever get to having her orders obeyed without question again. But there were times like these when Aang felt like he was being cruel having her watch him perform actions that she could no longer do herself.

"Maybe we should take a break?" Aang asked hesitantly.

Azula snorted. "You mean until Zuzu comes back and starts coddling you again? I don't think so."

Under the compromise, Azula had to leave while Zuko was training Aang but Zuko had to stay while Azula was teaching. Katara had insisted on that last part, and both Zuko and Aang knew that if they had argued then the waterbender would have insisted on remaining for Azula's lessons. That wouldn't have turned out well for anyone. The two girls would have just spent the whole training time shouting at each other about Azula's 'brutal' teaching methods.

Today, however, Zuko had to leave early because a riot had broken out in the east end of the capital. Zuko had insisted that the incident wasn't anything that required the services of the Avatar, and he told Aang to keep practicing with Azula while he was gone.

"No, no. Your hands are too far apart. Let me adjust them," Azula said. She reached for Aang's arms but suddenly paused when the unmistakable sound of a drawstring being pulled back was heard.

"It's okay," Aang said quickly and loudly. "She's just adjusting my stance."

The Yu Yan archer standing in the corner relaxed his forearm muscles. Aang internally sighed as he watched Azula's face turn blank. He understood why he couldn't be left alone with Azula, but he thought the normal guard rotation would have sufficed. Having one of the Fire Nation's elite archers observing them was just overkill. Frankly, Aang thought that he was more nervous about having the archer around than Azula was and she was the target!

Azula's shoulders sagged. She said, "I don't know why I'm bothering. Even if you perfected the forms and the techniques, you simply don't have the attitude to be a firebender."

"Zuko told me that the original firebenders didn't use rage and hate to fuel their bending," Aang said mildly.

"He told me about that, and I understand what he's saying but to truly understand fire you have to understand _all _of its qualities and not just the ones you like," Azula said. "Fire warms. It wards away the darkness and the cold. But it also burns. It's chaotic. It eliminates any obstacle that's in its path. It doesn't give up or hesitate. It spreads until either it is stopped or there's nothing left to consume. What you lack is the reckless fury and drive of a raging fire. You don't have what it takes to _destroy_."

Aang stared at the older girl. He knew that she had a point when it came to the nature of fire, but he couldn't bring himself to believe that the Fire Nation's aggressiveness or its desire to conquer were inevitable traits in its people.

"I agree that it's important to know the dark side of an element. Balance includes both the light and the darkness. But understanding the destructive power of fire doesn't mean reveling in it. I intend to do my best to understand the spirit behind firebending, but I am first and foremost an Air Nomad. I am proud of that heritage."

Azula crossed her arms and gave him a look of disgust. She said, "I've heard all about the Air Nomad's famous pacifism. Lot of good that did you. Do you think that hiding out in the mountains makes you morally superior?"

Aang was taken aback. "I don't think-"

"I tend to find that people who have respect for all life and are focused on obtaining spiritual enlightenment are remarkably callous when it comes to the suffering of the rest of the world."

"That's not true!" Aang shouted.

"Really? There have been wars in the world since time began, and as far as I can tell, the Air Nomads were always happy to sit back and let everyone else fend for themselves."

"Neutrality is not the same as indifference," Aang said, trying to control his temper. "We did not fight but we gave medical aid and supplies to anyone who asked for our help."

"I'm sure that the people who were being conquered and driven out of their homes appreciated your aid and comfort to the enemy," Azula said dryly.

"Do you have a point or do you simply like insulting my people?" Aang asked tightly.

"I suppose my point is that it's easy to talk about the sanctity of life when you don't have any stakes in the matter. But what about your friends? I'm certain that they would be willing to get their hands dirty to save their friends, their families, and their homes. What would you have thought of them then?"

"I have always known that not everyone shares my beliefs. My people's ways may not be the best solutions under all circumstances. We are not perfect beings. We can't always meet our ideals. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't try, or else the cycle of violence will never end. There's always another way."

Even as he was saying these words, Aang couldn't help but think about the times he had failed to meet his ideals. He may never had intentionally killed a person, but he had caused situations where it was more likely that people would die. The battle at the North Pole where he had merged with the Ocean Spirit was the most obvious example.

How many soldiers died that day?

He remembered arguing with Avatar Kyoshi about whether she had killed Chin the Conqueror or simply set up the circumstances and it was his own stubbornness had led to his death.

_"I fail to see the difference."_

With all due respect to his predecessor, Aang saw plenty of differences. The first being that she didn't directly kill him. That meant that Chin had a chance to live. And that chance, however slight, made all the difference.

Aang didn't really remember much of what he had done when he had merged with the Ocean Spirit in the Avatar State, but he had seen the results. He had told himself that he hadn't been trying to kill anyone and that he hadn't been in his right mind. His actions had increased the probability of death, but he had not directly killed anyone.

Those excuses had always rang hollow to him.

Was he simply rationalizing away his culpability? This was something he had meditated upon many times and had yet to come to an answer. But that didn't change the truth of what he told Azula. Failing to meet one's ideals and principles didn't mean that one simply stopped trying.

And he had promised himself that nothing like that would ever happen again.

Azula's voice interrupted his thoughts. She asked, "What if there wasn't another way? What if you couldn't take my father's bending away? What would you have done then?"

That was also a question that plagued Aang. He knew what he should have done. He had even agreed with Avatar Yangchen that his own spiritual needs could not overcome the needs of the world. But could he have actually done the deed at that moment, at that time? He gave Azula the same answer that he had always given himself.

"I don't know."

"Not surprising. You may be the all-powerful Avatar but, in the end, you're just a foolish idealist who's unwilling to understand what kind of world we really live in. It's no wonder that your people were wiped out."

Aang's temper finally boiled out of his control. "What about your people? We may have been dreamers but at least we weren't murderers! You want to accuse my people of hypocrisy when it was Sozin who thought he could bring peace and happiness to the world by _conquering_ it? The Fire Nation wiped out my people even though we had never done anything to you!"

Azula was silent for a very long time. Then she asked, "Do you know why the Fire Nation wiped out the Air Nomads?"

"Because the Avatar was reincarnated in our nation?" Aang replied bitterly.

"Partially, yes. But the war planners at the time thought that your nation had the potential to be our most dangerous enemy. Even more than our opposite element of water."

"How? We have never participated in a war. We didn't even have an army!" Aang cried. He remembered the propaganda he learned in the Fire Nation school about the Air Nomads' 'standing armies.'

"Most of our generals agreed with you. They said that even if the Avatar was among your people, it would be a waste of the power of the Comet to wipe out a bunch of monks. You were a child. We could eliminate you at any time with our regular forces so there was no need to hurry. But Fire Lord Sozin disagreed. He felt that even the peaceful turtle-duck would become a menace if cornered. It turned out that he was correct."

"What do you mean?" Aang asked intently.

"Haven't you ever thought about the lethal uses of airbending? Waterbenders and earthbenders can be separated from their element, but air is everywhere. It would be so easy to suck air from enemies' throats, to prevent their fire from combusting, or to ward off projectiles. I've read the true history of the genocide. You might be interested to know that many of the monks went down fighting. A surprising number of our troops died even with the power of the Comet behind them. So much for principles."

Despite her mocking tone, there was a measure of respect in her voice. And Aang despised her for it.

"Pacificism doesn't mean just rolling over and dying," Aang said quietly, but he wasn't really paying attention to Azula any more. He was remembering the sight of Monk Gyatso's skeleton and the remains of the Fire Nation soldiers which surrounded him. He thought about the kind of circumstances that would have driven the most fatherly and kind-hearted man he knew to such acts.

Aang had gone over the most likely sequence of events in his head dozens of times. During the first attacks, Gyatso would have tried his best to merely incapacitate the attacking soldiers by throwing them into walls or through oxygen deprivation, but sheer numbers would have made such time-consuming tactics impractical very quickly. He then would have tried airbending them off the mountain to slow their progress, far enough to break bones but not enough to kill them.

But the soldiers would simply keep coming. Gyatso and the other monks would have had to escalate their tactics. They would have tried their best to avoid taking a life for as long as they could. At some point, the increasing number of slaughtered children and families would drive the surviving airbenders into rage and despair...

They had probably died hating themselves just as much as they hated their killers.

Aang felt his eyes begin to sting with unshed tears. He felt the familiar rush of pain and anger pulse within his chest. He had been honest when he told Katara that he didn't want to hold onto his negative feelings, but he was only human. It didn't help that a Fire Nation royal was _admiring _his people for being forced to violate their sacred tenets and _smiling _as if she had proven some point about human nature. He could feel the energy in his body coalescing into a hot ball of chi that was demanding to be released...

"And that is what it means to be a firebender," Azula said quietly.

Aang was startled out of his thoughts, and he looked at her in utter confusion.

"You're angry at me, aren't you?" Azula asked as she circled Aang, careful to maintain a distance of five feet from the boy. "You feel like you want to ignite. The rage and the pressure is building up inside you. It hurts and your insides feel like they're tied up in knots. You may have noticed that most of my people have short tempers, and that the only way they know how to release their stress is to make something _burn._"

Aang felt much of his anger drain away as he watched Azula's face as she was talking. The faintest hint of self-loathing had crossed her face, and she actually seemed a little sad.

"Firebending wasn't always this way. It doesn't _have_ to be this way," Aang replied.

"But that is what it is _now,_" Azula said.

"If that's the case then why hasn't Zuko gotten rid of you yet?"

Azula looked at him with startled eyes.

"I understand that fire is dangerous, but that's true of any element. Earthquakes can level towns. Tidal waves and hurricanes can change a landscape beyond recognition. Nature is unforgiving and without mercy, but there is a reason that the Avatar is human. Because we can _choose _how to use our power. Not every obstacle has to be eliminated."

"Save me your morality speeches. It's only the weak who have to depend on an enemy's mercy."

"Then what does that make you, Azula?" Aang asked softly.

"I'm not weak!"

Aang calmly met her glare and replied, "No, you're not, but I don't think you know true strength yet. You talk about me needing to understand all the qualities of fire, but you're the one ignoring your own words. A small fire doesn't accomplish much by itself. It becomes bigger and more powerful when it combines with other fires."

"Relying on others is how I ended up like this in the first place!" Azula snapped.

Aang shook his head. Then he replied, "To rely on means to trust. If you had ever really trusted the people under you, if you had actually considered them your friends and allies, _then _you wouldn't have ended up alone!"

Azula visibly stiffened. She said, "I think we're done here. Nothing else is going to get accomplished today, and we both know it."

Aang suddenly felt bad for the words that he had thoughtlessly thrown at the older girl. She may have started it, but that didn't mean he had to retaliate in kind. He opened his mouth to apologize, but his words were cut off by a dark look from Azula.

"That's the difference between you and me. Even though you think that I'm the one who's wrong, you still feel the bizarre need to apologize. I simply don't understand you. Mercy and compassion didn't save your people, Avatar."

Aang remembered standing in the Avatar State over a defeated Ozai, who had stared up at him with a look of terror on his face. He remembered what he was thinking as he moved to finish off the so-called Phoenix King once and for all. He had been so detached at the time. His actions didn't seem quite real to him. Snuffing out the life force of the man before him would have been so easy. It hardly seemed fair that after all the suffering that the Fire Nation had caused that it would end with such little fanfare.

This made him wonder why he had to stop after this. It would hardly take any effort at all to fly to the Fire Nation's capital and rain down death and destruction in repayment for everything the Fire Lord had done in his people's name and what he had planned to do to the Earth Kingdom. Wouldn't it be poetic justice? Didn't they deserve it?

Who could stop him? He was the most powerful being on the planet.

For a very brief moment, he had felt tempted. But then he remembered what it meant to be an Air Nomad. He remembered Kuzon and the kids he met at the Fire Nation academy. He thought of Zuko and Iroh. The war had caused enough suffering in the world. He didn't want to add any more of it. It was time to end the violence.

And it was this thought that had given him the willpower to pull himself out of the Avatar State and find another way to neutralize Ozai.

"No, it didn't save my people," Aang finally said. "But it did save yours."

Azula had no reply to that.

* * *

**Please remember to review. Your feedback gives me motivation to write!**


	6. Metal and Balloons

-Chapter 6: Metal and Balloons-

Toph twirled her meteor bracelet between her fingers as she lied on the grass near the turtle-duck pond. To anyone who didn't know her, she would have just seemed like a daydreaming girl staring up into the sky. Actually, considering that her friends constantly forgot that she was blind, she might have to reword that statement...

Hmm, the sky. She had been taught that Air was the opposite element to Earth. Having been forced to travel into that terrifying void one too many times, she could see why. There was nothing up there for her to bend or sense. At least in water she could still feel the presence of the earth even if it was muffled and frustratingly out of her reach.

She had been told many times that one of the greatest things about flying was being able to see the magnificent views. Then the speaker would remember who they were talking to and lapse into an embarrassed silence. That irritated her a little bit. She didn't mind that her friends kept forgetting that she couldn't see. That was much better than being treated like a helpless little girl. But the silent implications that she was missing something awesome by not being able to see colors or read grated on her.

She didn't go around feeling sorry for her friends because they couldn't sense what she could. She didn't tell them that she thought their 'amazing views' were nothing compared to what she could 'see' when she was on solid ground. Even now, she could feel the vibrations of tiger-ants streaming to and from their mounds just thirty feet away from her. She could 'see' the drops from the morning's rain sliding down the side of the stone wall surrounding the Royal Garden. She could feel the roots of the trees around her slowly but inexorably digging deeper into the earth.

To her, the Earth contained a euphony of sounds and vibrations that were so different from the near silence of Air. Toph couldn't imagine how her friends dealt with being so limited that they could only see what was directly in front of them. The world was much more beautiful than could be seen in a narrow slot of sight, if she understood how seeing worked correctly.

Spirits, she was bored! She only got this deep and philosophical when she was forced to be by herself for extended periods of time. Which, during her childhood, was nearly all the time. If she hadn't figured out how to sneak out of her home to go to earthbending tournaments, she probably would have gone insane by now.

There was nothing to fight and nothing to do. Aside from her earthbending lessons with Aang and her verbal showdowns with her friends during meals, Toph had a lot of free time on her hands. But she had just recently came up with a project that she could invest her time in. Something important that only she could do.

The sound of approaching footsteps caught her attention. Female, judging from the foot size and the length of the stride. Quick, stealthy movements of a warrior but there was a slight heaviness in the left foot that indicated an unequal distribution of weight. Probably because she hadn't fully recovered from her involuntary commitment.

"What's up, Platypus Bear?" Toph asked. She opened her eyelids, not because it was necessary but because people thought she was being rude when she didn't.

"I've been told that we have similar teaching styles," Azula replied. "I thought it would be beneficial to take advantage of your greater experience. Not that I need it, of course."

Toph grinned. "Aang drives you up the wall too?"

"He's talented. There's no point in denying that. It's just that he's..."

"Lazy? Flighty? Prefers to jump around like a hyperactive grasshopper instead of facing an obstacle head-on?" Toph asked.

Toph could feel Azula relax as some of the tension left her body. The older girl said, "He was always a formidable opponent, but as a person... he's not quite what I expected."

"Yeah, I couldn't believe that he was the Avatar either when I first met him," Toph said. "But don't let the goofy, easy-going look fool you. That kid's tougher than you'd expect."

"So I'm discovering," Azula muttered.

Toph tilted her head in response to the odd tone in Azula's voice, but she decided to let it pass. She said, "The thing about teaching Aang is that you shouldn't go easy on him. Katara would disagree, but I'm not the one Aang's in love with so I have to do things differently."

Sounding frustrated, Azula said, "I haven't been going easy on him. I've been trying to get him to be more aggressive and he keeps resisting me."

"Ah, rookie mistake. Don't feel bad. I did that too. It's good to push Aang, but if you push him hard enough, he'll push back. You can't force him to be something he's not. It took a moose-lion for me to realize that I had to work with the strengths that Aang already had."

"You mean let him firebend with his airbender attitude," Azula said sounding displeased. "But then he's not really firebending."

"Yes and no. What he's doing is being the _Avatar._ The one person in the world who can combine different bending styles. You have to remember that you're not training him to be a firebender. You're training him to be an airbender who can also bend fire, water, and earth."

It had taken Toph awhile to learn that lesson for herself. Aang was always commenting about how she could do things that he couldn't yet, but he could do things that she would never be able to do. His earthbending style was very different from hers, and that was because he came into it with a very different mindframe that enabled him to come up with some very creative techniques. But Toph couldn't argue with results.

Toph could tell that Azula was still unhappy with her answer. She said, "Look, I know you're into the whole 'firebenders are superior' schtick, but if something's not working then you change it. But that's just my opinion. Do whatever you want."

Sensing that Azula was turning to leave, Toph found that she didn't want the princess to leave yet. She had been keeping track of the girl's movements within the palace for weeks now and she had never had a real conversation with her before today. Toph asked, "I'm surprised you're asking me for advice. I got the sense that you hated our guts."

Azula turned back around. Then she said in an amused tone, "You're awfully frank."

Toph shrugged. She said, "Not what you'd expect of the daughter of a noble family, right? Well, I can do that whole subtle secret conversation hidden inside a talk about weather and flowers and all that other rich people junk but why bother? Life's short so get to the point."

"Since we're being honest, I've also been wondering why you don't seem to hate me. Even the Avatar doesn't like me very much, but he tries to hide it. He's... strange."

Toph snorted. "That's an understatement. So you want to know why I don't glare daggers at you every time you enter a room like Katara does."

"Besides the fact that you can't?" Azula asked dryly.

Toph grinned then said, "You catch on quick. I like people with smart mouths, people who aren't afraid to tell it like it is. And I don't take what you did to us during the war personally. We were on opposite sides. Of course you were going to try to stop us. I'm a tournament fighter. You either learn how to get along with the guys who just tried to crush you with a boulder a minute ago or you go nuts."

"That's an interesting attitude."

"We don't really have a history, so I don't care about you one way or another. Don't get me wrong. If I find out that you're even thinking of hurting my friends then I'm putting you down hard. But right now I'm going to throw your question back at you. I'm one of the people who helped make those shiny decorations you're wearing. You should be wanting to wear my intestines as a belt."

"Who says I don't?" Azula asked in a deadpan manner.

"I imagine that you're smirking evilly at me, but I really can't tell," Toph said with a smirk of her own.

"I suppose my reasons are similar to yours. I don't know you well enough to be more than generally indifferent to your existence."

"Thanks. I think."

"I don't like these restraints, but I am intelligent enough to understand where I would be without them. And it's rather refreshing to be around someone who doesn't hold ridiculous expectations about me."

"What do you mean?"

"The waterbender seems to think that I'll try to slaughter you all in your sleep if given half the chance. But that's preferable to the crazy notions that my brother and the Avatar have about changing me."

"So what is it that _you _want to do?" Toph asked.

"When I figure that out, you'll be the first to know," Azula said sarcastically, but Toph could tell that this question bothered the older girl more than she was willing to admit.

"I've been thinking about that about myself lately," Toph said. "I want to have a goal of my own. I like helping Aang with his earthbending, but that's helping with _his_ goals, not mine. And it suddenly occurred to me that I had invented a new form of bending. That makes it my responsibility to turn it into a fighting style that can be taught to others like all the other bending arts."

"How does it work?" Azula asked.

The older girl didn't sound particularly interested in the subject, but Toph decided to answer anyway. She said, "Metal is just refined earth, and I _am _the world's greatest earthbender. Now, I can't bend metal directly just like I can't bend plants that grow out of soil, but I _can_ bend the bits of earth contained in the metal."

"That sounds like it would take a lot of concentration," Azula said.

"It does," Toph replied. "Right now, it's hard for me to sense the earth bits unless I'm directly touching the metal or am really close to it. I'm working on it though."

"Are you close to mastering remote metalbending?" Azula asked curiously.

Toph shrugged. "Not even close. I'm trying to come up with some new forms that might help me get to the point where I can levitate metal just like I can with earth."

"I'm sure that won't be a problem for you," Azula said.

Toph could hear the envy in the older girl's voice, and she could sympathize with it. She knew what it was like to have her abilities restrained (though never literally like Azula) and to have her life under someone else's control. She had spent most of her life not being allowed to show off more than the most basic of earthbending techniques.

She had tried many times to show her parents what she could really do only to be scolded for attempting such 'dangerous' stunts. She had eventually given up and allowed herself to be cast in the role of the dutiful daughter that they had always wanted. Things between her and her parents were much better now, but she still remembered her painful realization that her parents didn't even want her to _try _being less helpless.

"Hey, are you busy right now?" Toph suddenly asked.

"My social calender isn't as full as it once was," Azula replied wryly. "I think that I can fit you in."

"I don't know if you know this, but Sokka and Suki are supposed to be back tomorrow. At least that's what Hawky says."

"I saw Zuzu organizing a banquet for tomorrow earlier today. He said that he wanted to celebrate all his friends getting together for once," Azula said. "What's your point? Did you want me to help you select an appropriate gift?"

Toph grinned at the distaste in Azula's voice. Then she replied, "Nothing like that. What I wanted to know was if you were willing to help me pull a prank on Sokka?"

"Let me get this straight," Azula said slowly. "You want me to help you make your friend feel foolish and victimized so that we may laugh at him?"

"Yes!"

"Where do we start?"

* * *

Zuko's eyes tried to adjust to the glare of the setting sun as he watched the airship head toward the landing pad. He would never admit it, but he was happy to be able to see the Water Tribe warrior again. It hadn't always been that way. In the past, he had regarded the boy as an idiot.

The problem was that idiot was always able to keep the Avatar and his friends one step ahead of him. It had been incredibly infuriating to be outwitted by someone he regarded as having more testosterone than brains. What type of fool tried to defend his village armed with only a boomerang and a spear?

A brave one. Watching him in action as the Boiling Rock had forced Zuko to admit that there was good reason for Sokka to be considered the strategist of the Avatar's group. Zuko smiled slightly at the memory of what happened after they had returned triumphant with Suki and Chief Hadooka. Katara had been overjoyed but had also spent the next two hours berating him and Sokka for not taking the rest of the group along with them on their rescue mission.

Zuko watched the war balloon land gently on the ground. He supposed that he should stop thinking of the flying machines as _war_ balloons. Sokka had advocated for calling them 'zeppelins' (a word he made up by combining sounds that he liked), but Zuko thought that was a silly idea. Airship was probably a fine substitute.

"Sokka!" Katara cried as the boy in question stepped off the transport. He barely had a chance to spread his arms before he was literally tackled by his sister.

"Sokka, it's good to see you and Suki again," Zuko said trying to repress a grin and sound Fire Lord-like. He didn't think he was succeeding though.

"What, no hug for me?" Suki asked as she came up behind the siblings. To Zuko's surprise, the girl wasn't wearing her Kyoshi warrior garb but a normal green Earth Kingdom robe.

"Trust me, you don't want Sweetness hugging you," Toph said. "She leaves bruises. Isn't that right, Twinkletoes?"

"Rig- Wrong! I don't know what you're talking about!" Aang cried, looking left and right in a panic.

Katara released Sokka and looked at Aang with a concerned expression. She asked, "Am I hurting you with my hugs? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Bruising is an exaggeration. It's not a big deal. And, well, sometimes I like it..."

Sokka started making gagging noises. He waved his arms wildly as he yelled, "Ew! Stop it! I don't want to hear about this! I must bleach my brain!"

Suki put an arm on Sokka's shoulder and said, "Sokka, I don't think anything remotely dirty has been said here."

"Aren't you listening? Aang's a masochist!"

Zuko was about to step in to stop the unfolding chaos, but Azula beat him to it. She said, "You were right, Zuzu. He really is quite amusing."

Sokka turned toward the older girl with a frown. "Oh, hey, Azula."

Azula turned to Zuko with an amused expression. "Why are people never happy to see me?"

"It's quite a mystery," Zuko replied dryly.

Suki looked over at Azula and said flatly, "Long time no see, Princess. You seem to be doing well."

"Likewise."

Zuko found himself holding his breath. He wasn't worried about Suki. She was too mature and experienced a warrior to make a scene or let her emotions overcome her. He wasn't even worried about Azula. Even his egotistical sister could recognize that she wasn't in any condition to be provoking her former captive.

Sokka, on the other hand...

Crossing his arms, the young fighter gazed at Azula with a critical eye. He said, "I don't know, Suki. She doesn't look that well to me. Unless the starving refugee look is the new fad these days."

Azula smiled thinly. "The food at the institute didn't agree with me."

"Really? I wonder if it's anything like prison food. Suki, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

"Sokka..." Suki groaned, putting a hand to her face.

"I'm sensing some hostility here," Azula said to Zuko in a loud stage whisper.

"I see that your snide remarks are as clever as usual," Sokka said mockingly. Then his gaze sharpened. He said abruptly, "I think you owe Suki and me an apology."

Azula raised an eyebrow and replied, "For what? For defeating your girlfriend because I was better than her? For imprisoning an enemy of the Fire Nation? Or for making you think that I've mistreated her? Should I should also apologize for not allowing you to kill my father?"

Sokka regarded her with a stony expression. Then he said, "No, that would be childish. Being angry at you for acting like the enemy when that's exactly what you were would be absurd."

"Then what would the apology be for?" Azula asked.

"What I really want an apology for is..."

Zuko and the others leaned forward.

"...for you being a less than stellar hostess so far! Not only have you failed to greet us properly you haven't taken us to the banquet yet! I'm hungry!"

His stomach grumbled loudly as if on cue.

The tension in the air instantly dissipated. Zuko was aware that he was staring at Sokka slackjawed, but he couldn't help it.

Katara looked flabbergasted. "What was that...?"

Sokka was grinning widely. He said, "What? You thought I was going to get all 'murderously overprotective boyfriend'? Yeah, at first, I was upset when I got word that Zuko really went through with his crazy plan, but we've been traveling for weeks! Nobody can hold a grudge for that long!"

Toph jerked a thumb toward Zuko.

"He doesn't count."

Bowing to Sokka's insistence, the group started making their way toward the dining hall of the palace. Azula followed along with a thoughtful and slightly bemused expression.

Zuko hung back at the end and grabbed Sokka's arm as he passed by. He said in a low voice, "Thanks for not really blowing up back there."

Sokka looked at him seriously then he replied, "I've had some time to think about it. I don't like that your sister put Suki in prison, but then again I don't like what _you _did to her village."

Zuko winced. He realized with a guilty start that he had never apologized to the Kyoshi warrior for his actions. Nor had he ever apologized to Sokka for terrorizing the Southern Water Tribe's village.

"Sokka, I'm sorry. It never occurred to me-"

Sokka cut him off with a shake of his head. He said, "That's not the point I'm trying to make. Actions speak louder than words, Zuko. You've proven yourself to be a different person than who you were then. But you were only able to prove yourself _after _we gave you a chance. So I'm going to give Azula a chance to become the type of person who _could _apologize even if she never actually does."

Zuko was reminded once again why it wasn't a good idea to underestimate this young man.

"The worst thing Suki suffered at the Boiling Rock was terminal boredom," Sokka said, stretching his arms out. "It's lucky for Azula that she pretty much forgot about Suki and her girls after locking them up. Otherwise..."

Zuko was briefly chilled by the stark expression on Sokka's face, but then the boy grinned and ran off toward the palace after slapping Zuko on the back.

Rubbing the forming bruise on his back and shaking his head ruefully, Zuko followed in Sokka's wake. He was right. Underestimating Sokka was definitely a bad idea.

* * *

**Please remember to review. Your feedback gives me motivation to write!**

Author's Note: The good news is that I have finally found a job in this rough economy. The bad news is that this may put a delay in the production and updating of this story. But it also gives me an opportunity to take a breather and really consider where I want this story to go. Whatever happens, this story _will _continue and I hope you will continue to read along when it does.


	7. Dinner at Zuko's

-Chapter 7: Dinner at Zuko's-

Zuko could tell that his sister and Toph were up to something.

Plotting was Azula's natural state of being, so he hadn't noticed anything unusual with her, but Toph was a different story. He knew that the earthbender knew what expressions were, but he didn't think she quite grasped the implications of other people being able to _see _her expressions. For Agni's sake, she looked like she was on the verge of laughing manically!

He decided not to worry about it. Toph could go overboard at times, but her plans rarely hurt anything other than a person's pride. In fact, he thought it was nice that Toph was getting along with Azula. The two of them shared a love for sarcasm, mayhem, and smashing stuff. On second thought, maybe this wasn't such a good idea...

At least Azula was getting along with one of his friends. She also seemed to have a grudging respect for Aang even though she spent a lot of time complaining about his lazy, undisciplined ways and how it was absurd that someone like him was given ultimate power over the elements. As for the relationship between her and Katara...

The two girls appeared to be in the middle of a cold war with each side pointedly ignoring the other as much as possible. Katara had made the reasons for her antipathy very clear, and he couldn't disagree with the validity of those reasons, but he suspected that Azula had more childish motivations.

His sister was holding a grudge over being defeated by a _waterbender. _Zuko understood the feeling quite well. It wasn't only that they had been taught from childhood that the people of the other nations were inferior. It was the grating "common sense" notion that water always defeated fire. People acted like it was perfectly unsurprising that the Fire Nation hadn't conquered the North Pole in a hundred years. They ignored the fact that the reason for this wasn't because waterbenders were intrinsically stronger but because their capital was surrounded by their element! Not to mention that it was located in a godforsaken wasteland that no sane person would want to live in.

This pitying reaction grated on every firebender's soul. It was no wonder that Admiral Zhao had gone to such ridiculous lengths to subdue the waterbenders. But Zuko was trying to create a new world order of peace and cooperation. He should at least be able to get two stubborn girls to be civil with each other.

Katara seemed to be sensing what he was thinking because she directed a frosty glare at him.

On second thought, running an empire was a full-time job so it might be some time before he could get around to meddling with his friends' relationships. He casually turned his gaze away and looked around the dining hall that he and his friends were currently having appetizers in. Everyone was sitting around one of those absurdly long stone tables that was useful for state functions and useless for everything else. They were sitting near the center of the table so that no one would have to shout to communicate.

The room was well-heated by a roaring fireplace, and it was illuminated by some torches and dozens of candles. The banners and old paintings on the walls helped give the dining hall a regal and weighty atmosphere. Zuko rarely ate in this room as there were much more intimate dining locations in the palace, but it was sometimes nice to have an elegant meal in a setting like this. And it seemed like that his friends were having a good time.

"Flying on Appa is fun and all, but it's just so much more _comfortable _to travel on a giant flying boat," Sokka was saying.

"You probably swallow a lot less bison fur that way too," Toph quipped.

"What took you so long to get back here though?" Katara asked. "You were supposed to be back three days ago!"

Sokka frowned then he replied, "Didn't I write down in the letter I gave to Hawky that I was taking a quick detour to visit Master Piandao?"

"No, you just said that you'd be back by the end of the week and that you'd have a big surprise," Katara replied.

"Oh yeah. I was going to wait to show you after dinner but..."

Sokka reached for the scabbard behind his back and pulled out a familiar looking black sword.

"You found your space sword?" Aang asked with widened eyes.

"Not quite. My first sword is probably still lying around in the countryside somewhere, but Master Piandao told me that he had enough leftover pieces from the original rock to forge a new sword. He also told me that if I didn't take good care of this one then I was going to be in for quite a scolding..."

"Did you make a new boomerang too?" Toph asked.

"No need. Boomerang will come back one day," Sokka replied with utter conviction.

"In the meantime, I have convinced him to at least carry around an extra hunting knife in his boot until this wondrous reunion occurs," Suki said with a small smile.

"Ooh, you're getting better with the snappy remarks. Not bad, Jailbird," Toph said with a grin.

Suki looked over at Sokka with a disbelieving expression. "_Jailbird_?"

Sokka patted her hand and said, "It's best not to fight it."

"How are things back on Kyoshi Island?" Aang asked, obviously trying to steer the conversation back on track.

"It's great. We're getting a lot of new recruits for the Kyoshi Warriors. People are coming from all over the Earth Kingdom for training. They've heard about what we did with helping refugees get to Ba Sing Se and defending the villages outside the capital's walls."

"I wonder how many of the male applicants were discouraged by having to wear women's clothes," Katara wondered.

Suki shrugged. "They could just wear the male version of Avatar Kyoshi's fighting uniform."

"There's a male version?!" Sokka shouted, his eyes bugging out.

"Of course," Suki replied casually. "The Kyoshi Warriors didn't start out as a female-only fighting force, and we still aren't. That would be sexist. It's just that we haven't had any any male applicants in awhile. So we didn't have any extra male uniforms available when you first visited our village and wanted to train with us."

Sokka gave her a skeptical look. "So you didn't dress me up in girls' clothes for kicks and giggles. Right..."

Suki just smiled innocently at him.

The conversation came to a pause when the doors to the room swung open and the head chef came into the room carrying a large platter with an equally large dead bird on it. Zuko smirked as he saw Sokka's eyes instantly lock onto the main course heading their way.

"We're in for a special treat tonight. Knowing about Sokka's legendary and slightly disturbing love of meat, I have asked Chef Saiko to prepare a very rare dish. It's called turducken."

"Turducken?" Katara echoed.

"To put it simply, turducken is made by partially de-boning a turkey-duck then having it stuffed with a de-boned duck-chicken which is itself stuffed with a small chicken-turkey."

"Sokka, you're drooling," Suki said, looking amused.

Noticing that Aang was looking visibly green, Zuko quickly said, "We also have some delicious vegetarian dishes that will be brought out in a few moments."

Sokka continued to practically salivate as the chef sliced up the huge bird and started passing out the servings to everyone except Aang. Zuko noticed that Sokka ended up with an especially large and juicy looking drumstick. Another member of the kitchen staff soon came out with a winter greens lasagna and vegetarian quiche for the airbender. To the Water Tribe boy's credit, he politely (if impatiently) waited for everyone to be served before he started eagerly reaching for his plate.

One moment Zuko was watching his friends reach for their utensils then the next he was seeing nothing at all. Because the room had suddenly turned pitch black.

There was a long bewildered silence before Zuko created a hovering fireball to illuminate the room. His eyes immediately turned toward his sister's seat as it occurred to him that this blackout could have been a precursor to an escape attempt. But Azula just stared at him from her seat with a questioning look in her eyes.

The Royal Guard started lighting up the room again. Zuko was about to call one of them over and tersely order him to find out what had caused the blackout when he heard Aang cough sheepishly to catch his attention.

"Uh, this was kinda my fault. I was trying to dim the lights, and I kinda overdid it," Aang said.

"You could have just asked," Zuko replied with a sigh of relief.

Azula shook her head with mock sadness. She said, "You shouldn't be trying to show off with such poor control."

Aang looked like he wanted to protest this statement, but he seemed to think better about it.

"Thanks for the meal!" Sokka cried with a quick clap of his hands before picking up his drumstick.

"Is food all you think about?" Katara asked.

"It's dinner time! Food is _exactly _what we're supposed to be thinking about!" Sokka retorted before he took a big bite out of his turducken leg.

"Bleh!"

Zuko grimaced as he watch Sokka spit out a lump of half-chewed turducken. He asked, "What's wrong?"

Sokka gestured toward his plate. He said, "This is gross. It's disgusting!"

Out of confusion and curiosity, Zuko took a bite from his own plate. The meat tasted moist and succulent. Puzzled, he said, "I don't know what you're talking about. This is delicious."

Sokka rolled his eyes. He said, "Heh, I should have known that rich people have weird tastes. This is crap!"

Zuko was about to angrily reply when Aang said, "Hey, Sokka. Your leg looks different from Zuko's."

"Huh?"

Aang gingerly poked the drumstick that Sokka had thrown down in disgust then he took a quick sniff. He said happily, "It's tofu!"

"I knew that I recognized that slimy texture!" Sokka yelled, actually recoiling from the table. "This was supposed to be turducken! But it's made of tofu! This is not turducken! It's tofuc-"

"Sokka! Language!" Katara scolded.

Zuko looked over at Toph who had literally fallen out of her chair laughing. He said, "I think I have a slight idea about what's going on."

After Toph had composed herself a few minutes later, she wiped a tear from her eye and said gleefully, "Oh, that was great! We probably could have gotten a few more minutes of amusement out of this, but Aang had to ruin it."

"This is _so _not cool. You do not mess with a man's meat!" Sokka exclaimed, wagging his finger at Toph.

Toph just burst out laughing again.

Zuko narrowed his eyes as he looked over at Aang. He asked, "So you were a part of this?"

Aang rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Kinda. I didn't know what the girls were going to do, but Toph asked me to extinguish the flames after everyone was served."

Azula suddenly stood up and jabbed a finger in Sokka's face. She exclaimed, "Ha! We have humiliated you in front of your comrades and kin! You better pray that news of this horrific occurrence does not make it back to the Southern Water Tribe. You have been pranked!"

She then sat down and crossed her arms with an air of intense satisfaction. There was a long pause then Suki turned to Toph and asked curiously, "How did you switch the plates?"

Toph waved a hand over the table and a hole formed in the stone surface. A column bearing what must have been Sokka's original plate rose out of it.

"Meat!" Sokka yelled, grabbing for the plate.

"Did the chefs make this?" Aang asked as he carefully inspected the meat substitute that Sokka had shoved aside.

Toph replied, "Yeah, and it took me forever to convince Platypus Bear here that it might be a good idea to have the kitchen staff help us instead of relying on the cooking skills of a blind girl and a spoiled princess."

Azula crossed her arms. She said, "I still maintain that we ran the risk of having our operational secrecy exposed by bringing in extra conspirators. It was bad enough that we had to ask the Avatar to help."

"Wait, you were willing to _cook_?" Zuko asked.

Azula gave him a disgusted look. "What exactly did you think I did to eat while I was running around in the wild tracking down the Avatar?"

"Have Mai and Ty Lee make your food?"

"I refuse to dignify that with a response," Azula replied in a stiff manner that conveyed that Zuko had hit a bull's eye.

The door suddenly opened and everyone automatically turned to look at who entered.

"Am I late to the party?"

"Mai!" Zuko exclaimed, rising from his seat.

The somber girl gave him a small smile as she greeted him with a peck to the cheek. Still in shock, Zuko could only sputter, "Wh-what are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here!"

Mai rolled her eyes. "It's great to see you too."

While Zuko was still figuring out how to pull his foot out of his mouth, Mai continued, "My parents were driving me crazy, and I heard about your little dinner party so I decided to come back early. And, for the record, Azula did try cooking once. We lost two days due to food poisoning. I would have thought Azula did it on purpose to get out of cooking, but she spent more time uncontrollably vomiting than Ty Lee and I did."

"We're trying to eat here," Katara pointed out with a queasy look.

"Maybe I should have let Azula cook for the prank after all," Toph said thoughtfully.

Zuko took a worried glance at Azula to check how she was reacting to this unexpected appearance. The fact that her chopsticks had been snapped in half was probably not a good sign. He said quietly to Mai, "You should have told me you were coming. I don't think Azula is ready-"

"Zuzu, while your brotherly concern is appreciated, I'm not going to fracture at the sight of your girlfriend. You're welcome to join us, Mai. After all, aren't we old friends?"

Only Azula could somehow make the word 'friend' sound like an epithet. Mai responded to Azula's wintry grin with her own fake-polite smile as she sat down in the empty seat next to Toph, which happened to be the seat across from Azula.

Hoping to ward off an awkward silence (or worse, a fistfight), Zuko asked, "How's your family, Mai?"

"Same as usual. Dad is still dealing with all the people who have complaints about the aftereffects of the War. I've been helping him a little and explaining how the changes you've instituted are good things and will actually improve their lives. As you might expect, a lot of people aren't really receptive to that type of reasoning."

"Anything that I particularly need to work on?" Zuko asked.

"Most of them just like the sound of their own voices. They had pretty much the same complaints when your father was in charge about taxes and regulations and such," Mai replied. "There are a few areas that could use your personal attention, but we can talk about them later."

Zuko nodded in agreement at that idea. Then he said, "How is your mother?"

Mai sighed then she said, "My mother is still getting on my case about being a 'proper companion' for the Fire Lord. I tell her that I'm not into the whole 'obedient wife' crap and we end up arguing for hours. Fortunately, Tom-Tom manages to occupy most of my mother's attention these days."

Azula suddenly spoke up. "Tom-Tom is your little brother, right? The one you couldn't care less about? Is he old enough yet to understand how his sister sold him out and abandoned him to his kidnappers?"

Mai slammed her hands down on the table as she glared at Azula. She said, "That was what you wanted! I had no choice!"

Azula looked at Mai as if she was examining a particularly intriguing insect. She replied, "Yes... you were always good at doing what I wanted. Unless it involved hurting Zuko. Then you miraculously discover the ability to make your own decisions. Does that mean you're admitting that your boyfriend means more to you than your own family?"

Zuko wanted to jump in before things got even worse, but he was frozen in his seat by the heat of Mai's glare. He had never seen Mai so incensed. He wanted to help her, but he knew that she didn't want and wouldn't appreciate his help right now. Azula definitely had the special talent of being able to bring out the worst in people.

The girl turned back toward his sister and snapped, "Don't be twisting the past! The situations weren't the same at all. Tom-Tom wasn't in any real danger at the moment, but that might not have stayed the case if I had spoken up against you. And I especially don't want to hear about the importance of family from someone like you!"

Azula gave a slow, sarcastic clap. She said, "Bravo. Such a heartwarming performance. So is that what you've been telling Zuzu? That you served me all these years because of fear and threats? Maybe you've told him that I'm the type of person who eats babies?"

"What exactly are you implying? Spit it out already!"

Azula leaned forward and said in a low voice, "I'm calling you a hypocrite. I never had to force you to do anything. As long as it would distract you from your boredom, you were happy to obey me. You've never given a damn about the war or the people before, but all of a sudden you're now a 'good guy' concerned about social justice and righting wrongs?"

"People change, Azula," Mai replied with her face as hard as stone.

"Bullshit! Right and wrong don't mean anything to you. You just want to be with Zuko. It's always been about him. If he hadn't changed sides then you'd still be right at my side. Your sense of ethics seem to be dictated by your feelings for my brother!"

Azula then gave a truly malicious smile as she said, "Or maybe I'm giving you too much credit. Maybe you just wanted to hitch your cart to a winner. It looks like your gamble has paid off then. You're only a few steps away from becoming Fire Lady. If you haven't done so already and you really want to cement your position then I would suggest spreading-"

The sound of Mai's hand smacking Azula's face echoed throughout the dining hall.

The red outline of a palm could clearly be seen on Azula's cheek. Such a slap must have hurt a lot, but Azula didn't show a single sign of pain in her expression. She just said quietly, "The only reason that you're not wearing restraints like I am is because you took the opportunity to change sides before it was too late. People don't change, Mai. Not really."

"Maybe you just never truly knew me," Mai said softly, staring at her hand as if it was an alien creature. She seemed startled by her emotional outburst.

"I suppose that's true," Azula replied. The combativeness in her tone had vanished, and she just seemed very tired. She glanced around at the rest of the group who didn't seem to know where to look, and she sighed.

"I've lost my appetite."

Zuko didn't know how to react as he watched his sister leave the room. He was furious at Azula for talking to Mai so horribly, but he was also mad at his girlfriend for coming back and making an already delicate situation even worse. In addition, he couldn't help but feel bad for both of them. He had watched the two girls get into shouting matches before when he was younger, but this was the most uncomfortable fight he had ever sat through.

"Mai, are you feeling okay?" Zuko asked.

Mai looked at him with the bland expression that she normally wore, but experience showed him the tiny signs that said she was anything but serene. She said, "This didn't go quite how I expected it. I knew that Azula would be mad, and I had even prepared for the possibility of her trying to attack me, but I didn't think she could get under my skin so easily. I should have known better than that."

Zuko asked, "Why did you come tonight?"

"Part of it was curiosity. I've read the letters you've sent me about how Azula was doing, but I guess I wanted to see for myself what you were talking about. And I was starting to feel like a coward by avoiding her. There was also a part of me that thought that if I could get her to show her true colors then you'd reconsider this reform project. Then I came tonight and talked to her and..."

"And?" Zuko prompted, feeling fascinated by this glimpse into Mai's thought processes.

Mai shook her head ruefully. She said, "It's so stupid. She's the one who tried to burn me, but she's acting like she's the victim. I can't believe that she has the gall to act hurt like that, like I've betrayed her. Even worse, she thinks I betrayed her not out of principle or conviction but over a man! But..."

Her voice lowered to a whisper as she said, "She's not completely wrong."

Looking at Mai's miserable face, Zuko made a decision. He stood up and said, "I'm really sorry, guys, but I think we're going to have to postpone the rest of this dinner for another time. I'll have the servants deliver your food to your rooms. This party's over."

His friends looked extremely relieved and Zuko couldn't help but note with some amusement at how quickly the dining hall was vacated. He then sat down next to Mai and wrapped an arm around her.

"You didn't have to do that," Mai said quietly as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I know."

"You'd better not be expecting me to cry."

"The thought never even crossed my mind," Zuko lied.

"It's not like I care what Azula thinks of me," Mai said. The tremble in her hands told him that he wasn't the only liar in the room.

As Zuko sat there wishing that he could come up with the words to comfort his girlfriend, he thought about what had just transpired. Azula may have had her reasons, but she had gone too far. At the very least, she could have waited for a more private moment to have her tirade. In any event, he was going to have to do something about this.

* * *

**Author's Note: **An update! My new job has really been wearing me out, so it's been hard coming up with the motivation to write. Remember that your reviews give me energy!

As a bit of a spoiler and a gift for patient fans, I will tell you all that the next chapter will be from Azula's POV. I thought that news might be of interest.


	8. Azula's Struggles, Part I

--Chapter 8: Azula's Struggles, Part I-

A soldier's first duty when in enemy hands was to attempt to escape.

That was the first thought that popped into Azula's mind when she opened her eyes and saw the men and women in physician's robes staring warily at her. Operating out of training rather than any real desire, her mind was already mapping out possible escape options when it was halted by a wave of weariness washing over her body.

She was so _tired._ She couldn't remember ever feeling so weak and disoriented. Perhaps she felt groggy from medication or she was just drained from all the fighting she'd done lately. Either way, it occurred to her that there was no pressing reason why she had to escape right this second. With a sigh, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift off.

The next time she regained consciousness she felt a little better, but the heavy feeling in her chest was still there. The last thing she remembered before waking up here was the Agni Kai with her brother. She clenched her hands out of embarrassment when she remembered her actions then. It was one thing to lose a fight but to lose in such a humiliating way...

When had everything started falling apart? It hadn't been that long ago that she had been on top of the world. She had conquered the impenetrable city whose mighty walls had kept even the Dragon of the West at bay. She had brought Zuko home per their father's wishes. She had even severely wounded the Avatar! And the crowning achievement on her edifice of successes was a literal crown given to her by Father for being the perfect child that Zuko had failed to be.

Then everything had crumbled to ashes.

Azula knew intellectually that she shouldn't be wallowing in self-pity. She should have been concentrating on getting revenge on everyone who had wronged her. She should have been formulating plans and objectives for getting back on top. But... what was the point?

She was probably already the laughing stock of the Fire Nation. Who would take her seriously now? Who would be wiling to help her go up against both the new Fire Lord and the Avatar? All of her allies and resources were gone. She was... weak. That was the reason she had failed. Could she really bear to fall again? If the problem truly lied within her then it would be pointless to even try.

Her weakness had cost her everything from her friends to her sanity and even her self-respect. Azula gritted her teeth at the memory of the palace guards having to tie her up like a maddened beast to prevent her from hurting herself. No, not a beast. A monster.

_Are you happy now, Mother? It looks like you were right after all. _

Azula found herself blinking her eyes rapidly. No, she wasn't going to cry. She was stronger than that! She was Princess Azula and she wasn't going to mew like an abandoned kitten...

Hot tears leaked out from her eyes.

She was truly pathetic.

The days passed by in a blur. Most of her time was spent in a dreamless sleep or a half-conscious state. At times she could hear the voices of various doctors trying to elicit a reaction from her. She ignored them with ease. There was a part of her that said she couldn't keep this up forever, and she'd cause herself irreversible harm eventually, but she couldn't bring herself to really care.

Azula knew that she was a dangerous state of depression, but the insidious thing about the condition was that awareness of it only made it worse. She was in a never-ending spiral of self-loathing and despair, which was fine with her because she deserved all the scorn she could heap upon herself. She had idiotically set the stage for her own downfall, and that was why she was in this nuthouse now.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

In her more lucid moments, Azula wondered if an execution would have been more merciful than this. She didn't want to die. Even in her pitiful state, she still had contempt for those who sought to cut their lives short. But wasn't what she was doing a slow form of suicide? Hadn't she created her own hell?

Enough! She was stronger than this. She would get up and... do what exactly? She couldn't imagine life as a peasant nor could she imagine creating an empire that wouldn't crumble in just a few years anyway. The old Azula might have done the latter anyway thinking that it was better to go down fighting than to slowly waste away like an invalid. The current her saw such a task as a waste of energy and effort. She couldn't even muster the energy to pull herself out of bed, and she thought she could take over the world?

In the end, her defiant spark would fade out as quickly as it had formed. She would end up simply heaving a sigh and allowing herself to fall back into her semi-slumber. And the cycle would continue. Despite the brightness of the room, all she saw was darkness.

Then her brother came for her.

It was no secret that she thought Zuko was a fool. He was soft in the heart and in the head. Father had taught him the folly of depending on others for mercy or compassion, but Azula knew that Zuko still believed in such ideals deep inside. He wanted people to think he was cynical and jaded, but his naivety and idealism shone through his angry exterior if one knew how to look.

So she was more surprised than she probably should have been when Zuko revealed his plan for her to go home with him.

_Oh, Zuzu, you just never learn. _

That initial and aberrant feeling of sisterly fondness was immediately squashed by her rising anger and disdain. How dare Zuko waltz in like this and pretend to be doing her a favor? The only reason he was here was because of his 'guilty conscience.' He had always allowed his irrational feelings to dictate his actions. Worse, he took unnecessary risks and thought it make him morally superior when he was really just being self-righteous.

The hazy numbness that had weighed her down like a lead weight dissipated as she listened to Zuko condescendingly explain how she was a brainwashed puppet who needed his help to redeem herself. Oh, he didn't say any of that explicitly, but it was clear what he meant. How dare he look down on her? It was a bit too late for him to be acting like a disappointed big brother!

Azula hadn't felt this emotional in months. She allowed the outrage to wash over her, welcoming it like an old friend. If she was thinking more clearly, then she would have played along with Zuko's foolishness, but she wasn't in the mood for games. She was tired of her talentless brother taking away everything and everyone she valued.

Zuko had always been favored over her. It had started with Mother and continued even now with Mai. Zuko didn't even have to be present to aggravate her! His banishment hadn't stopped Father's constant litany of complaints about what a useless son he had. But her brightest accomplishments barely warranted a distracted smile.

Azula didn't understand it. Wasn't she the superior firebender? Wasn't she the more obedient and dutiful child? She had prided herself on her logical thinking, so she had struggled to discover the reason for this difference in treatment. As a child, she had observed the careful, controlled manner in which Mother treated her and she compared it to the lighthearted, gentle treatment that Zuko received. She thought about the other children at school and the way that their mothers would talk to and act toward them.

After all this, she came to an inescapable conclusion. And she remembered the words that she spoke on Ember Island.

_"My own mother thought I was a monster. She was right, of course, but it still hurt." _  
_  
_"I don't think you're a monster," Zuko said softly.

His opinion shouldn't have mattered to her. But it did. Azula was disgusted with herself. Was her self-esteem really so low that she would be moved by the words of someone she despised? At one time she would have vehemently denied that possibility, but isolation had a way of stripping away one's illusions.

The reality of the matter was that Zuko was the only person left in her life who was willing to extend his hand to her. The same could not be said of her parents, her uncle, or her former friends. Her brother may have been an idiot, but he was an idiot who was willing to pull her out of the darkness.

So when he restated his offer to help her, she said yes.

* * *

"Well, that was stupid," Azula said to herself.

The Fire Princess flopped onto her bed and stared up at the ceiling. Had she really just shouted at Mai and practically called her a whore in front of the man who could throw her in the dungeons with a snap of his fingers? Not that she really thought that Zuko would do such a thing, but that wasn't the point. The point was that she was not the type of person who put herself into situations in which she had to depend on someone else's leniency in the first place.

"What is wrong with me?" Azula muttered.

She didn't consider herself an impulsive person, but all she'd been doing lately was letting her emotions get the better of her. The incident with Mai was just the latest example. Why had seeing Mai caused her to react like an undignified commoner? The proper response would have been to greet Mai with a calculated indifference designed to make her worry about what Azula was planning to do to her. Then Azula could have taken her time in planning the perfect revenge.

Things obviously hadn't turned out that way. She had really tried to temper her reaction and act like the cold, manipulative bitch she prided herself on being, but the urge to lash out had overcome her good sense. She had wanted- no, she _needed _to hurt Mai like Mai had hurt-

Azula gripped her head as if she could shake out the treacherous thoughts currently inhabiting it. She was definitely _angry _and _appalled _at Mai's actions. She had practically committed treason after all. But there was no way in hell that she would be bothered by yet another person choosing Zuko over her...

Oh, damn it.

She sighed. Being self-aware sucked.

"Azula, we need to talk."

Azula raised her head to see that Zuko had entered her room with a decidedly unamused expression that should have worried her. But seeing how he almost always looked that way when talking to her, his stern look had lost some of its impact.

"I was expecting you sooner," Azula said lazily as she dropped her head back on the mattress.

"Sit up when you're talking to me," Zuko said in a tone that brooked no argument.

_Zuzu's definitely in a snit. I guess I should humor him just this once. _

Azula pulled herself to a sitting position and then calmly looked over at her brother. She asked, "Will you be saying 'off with my head' next?"

"You really hurt Mai's feelings," Zuko said, ignoring her attempt to sidetrack him.

"Good."

"Good?" Zuko asked, staring at her incredulously.

"That was rather the point. You can't be surprised by that. Or are you surprised that I would admit it so easily without any excuses?"

"That doesn't surprise me. What did surprise me was your loud and public tirade at dinner. You're usually much more subtle than that, Azula."

"Maybe I've gotten rusty. Or maybe I just don't care any more. I'm not going to apologize."

"I didn't expect that you would, but you do realize that I can't just let this go," Zuko said with grim determination.

Azula looked at him curiously. He wasn't acting like she thought he would. Oh, he was definitely upset. The furrowed eyebrows and tight jaw were dead giveaways. Yet he wasn't yelling or wildly gesticulating like the angsty sibling she was familiar with. She then realized what the problem was.

"Being Fire Lord doesn't mean you have to get all cold and stone-like when you get mad," she informed him. "Let it out. You'll feel better."

"I really can't. This isn't like our normal stupid bickering. This is serious, and I have to act accordingly. As you say, I'm Fire Lord now. I don't get the luxury of getting seriously angry or saying or doing things that I'll later regret. Especially against someone who can't fight back."

Azula felt her face flush in anger. Glaring at her brother, she said, "Don't hold yourself back on my account! Anyway, I probably shouldn't be surprised that you're going to take _her_ side."

"Azula, you threw her in _jail. _For the crime of not letting you kill me. Forgive me if I lack the appropriate amount of sympathy for your plight," Zuko replied sarcastically. Despite his earlier resolution, she could already see the cracks in his stern demeanor.

"Yes, everything is always about _you_, isn't it?" Azula snapped harshly.

Zuko threw up his hands in frustration. He asked, "Why do you always do this? I try to have a serious conversation with you, and all you do is attack me. Look, I get that you and Mai don't like each other. Fine. But you're not going to make any friends acting like this!"

"Acting like what? Myself? I'm so _sorry_ if my very being _inconveniences _you," Azula said. "And I don't remember ever mentioning that I wanted to make friends with any of your loser freeloaders!"

Zuko glared at her. He said, "I think I've been very patient with you, but maybe that was the wrong approach. Maybe you've just seen it as a sign of weakness. I've let you disrespect my friends because you have some justification to resent them. I thought that would change with time. But now I'm beginning to wonder if you've actually learned anything after coming home. If you're not going to even _try _to make this work then what's the point?"

"What are you saying?" Azula asked, looking up sharply.

Zuko sighed, and his expression softened. He replied, "I really do want to help you, but it's not fair of me to put my friends in the middle of my family problems. I'm not being fair to you either. I haven't really considered how you've felt about this. But I don't really think you've taken the time to really think about everything that's happening either, so I think we should take a break from each other."

"A break," Azula repeated tonelessly.

"I'm confining you to your room for the next two weeks. Yes, I'm grounding you. Ha ha. But this isn't just because of Mai. We all need some time to think about where this is going. After that... there's no real reason that you and my friends have to spend time together."

Zuko added hastily, "Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you can't talk to Aang and the others if you want to, but you might prefer creating your own group. I'm sure there are plenty of old classmates that you can reacquaint yourself with. I remember that you were always having sleepovers and such..."

He continued talking, but Azula couldn't hear him over the ringing in her ears. She just stared at him as she was struck by the force of Zuko's words. When it came down to it, Zuko wanted to preserve his relationships with Mai and Katara. He was right when he said that it wasn't fair of him to inflict her presence on them or vice versa. Despite his pretty words, he was clearly preparing to distance himself from her.

Zuko would probably say that she was wrong. He would say that this didn't mean that the both of them couldn't spend time together, but Azula knew how such good intentions usually turned out. They would continue to live together, but they would essentially be living separate lives. There was nothing wrong with that. That was the normal course of things for siblings. Very rarely did brothers and sisters have the same circle of friends.

_So that's it? I throw one hissy fit and you're going to throw me away? _

That was an unfair characterization, and she knew it even as she thought it, but that realization did nothing to dispel the tightness in her chest. It hurt to breathe all of a sudden. Azula supposed it was inevitable that it would come to this. All she had done since coming home was complain. Zuko had simply gotten the message that she found him and his friends an irritation. Who could blame him for deciding that she was too much trouble?

He would continue to keep an eye on her, but he wouldn't force himself into her life anymore. This was the logical and best course of action for everyone. She was getting what she wanted all along - to be left alone. She should be happy.

"Get out."

"Wh-what?" Zuko asked, blinking his eyes in surprise.

"I said, _get out_!"

Looking utterly confused, Zuko put his hands out in a placating gesture. He said, "Calm down! Let's talk about this-"

Azula picked up a pillow and threw it at her brother. The knowledge that she couldn't do any more than that without running the risk of immobilization only served to fuel her rage. She shouted, "You and Mai deserve each other. You're both idiotic jerks!"

Despite her restraint, she could feel numbness spread out from her extremities, but she managed to hold herself together until Zuko left the room. The instant he left (with one last worried look at her), she slumped over. After a few minutes of cursing, she struggled to push down her anger, so that she could reduce her body temperature and move again.

Taking deep breaths, Azula calmed herself down and waited for the paralysis to wear off. She stared at the pillow that she had childishly thrown at Zuko and groaned. She had done it again. Why was she being so emotional? Had her nervous breakdown messed up something inside her? Father would be ashamed of her for losing control like this.

_Like Father ever really gave a damn about you before. _

Azula bit her lip as she swatted that thought aside. This was all Mai's fault. Coming back like this and stirring up all these ugly, stupid feelings that Azula thought she had managed to squash since coming home. At this rate, she was going to end up back in that institution, and there was no way in hell that she was going to let that happen.

She looked over at the door that Zuko had left through with a mild bit of regret. She hadn't expected to burn her bridges with her brother quite this early, but it was probably for the best. She had been getting a little too attached and adjusted to both him and her new life. That was dangerous.

Azula cursed herself for her weakness. Ever since she was a child, she had always looked to others for approval. Maybe that was why she and Ty Lee got along so well. They were both emotionally needy and pathetic. Ugh, she really missed the days when she had fooled herself into believing that she was perfect and invincible. Now she was reduced to actually caring what Zuko and his band of morons thought about her.

Enough. It was time to leave.


	9. Azula's Struggles, Part II

**Today is my 26th birthday. In honor of the occasion, I am submitting an extra-long chapter of _Lightning & Flame. _Enjoy!**

-Chapter 9: Azula's Struggles, Part II-

There were a few reasons why Azula had not tried to escape upon arriving home from the mental institution. The first one was obvious. Her muscles had deteriorated from weeks of inactivity. Even without the restraints, she would have had a difficult time escaping from the palace. So her first order of business had been to find a way to get herself back into shape that wouldn't increase her body temperature too much.

Simple stretching and breathing exercises were helpful, but they could only take her so far. As the days went by, she was able to regain her balance and ability to walk without losing her breath, but it would be a long time before she would regain her former physical prowess, if ever. The restraints on her limbs only slowed down the rate of her progress, which further frustrated her.

Because of the nature of the restraints, she had taken to short, frenzied bursts of activity before the paralysis took her down. She imagined this was how a berserker fought, but while this routine was good for her speed and efficiency it was probably bad for her long-term health. It also wasn't that great for improving her endurance either. She needed something better.

As much as it grated her to admit it, that 'something' was not going to be found in the firebending styles. She had arrived at this conclusion one day when she somehow ended up in the courtyard just as Aang and Katara had started sparring. Azula had immediately ignored the water bender and watched the Avatar jump, spin, and tumble around like a leaf in the wind.

If Azula had ever entertained any notion that airbending would be less energy-intensive than firebending then this display would have refuted it. All that dodging and leaping about made her feel tired, so she was about to leave when she saw a water whip cut through the air.

Almost against her will, her eyes followed Katara as she whirled a ball of water over her head. With her feet planted in a firm stance and her arms moving in slow yet fluid manner, the younger girl stretched the water out into a shield that deflected the clump of dirt that Aang had launched back at him. The Avatar gave a loud 'eep!' as he jumped out of the way of his own projectile.

Azula had fought against the effects of waterbending many times, but she had never actually analyzed the physical movements behind them. Waterbenders had always been beneath her notice. There was nothing to be learned from them. That was what she had thought until one had defeated her.

Her mind quickly dissected the moves she was seeing. From what she observed and her own limited knowledge of the style, waterbending centered around the redirecting of energy. It didn't meet force head-on like earthbending or firebending did, but neither did it evade it like airbending. It took that energy and used it as its own. There was barely any excess movements to Katara's form, which meant that there was hardly any energy expended. Even so, the results were not small at all.

As the days passed, the memory of those movements lingered. Even if she couldn't bend water herself, there still might be something there she could use. Azula grimaced at her thoughts. She couldn't believe she was even considering this! Her ancestors would roll over in their graves. But despite her disgust, she kept thinking about the gentle wave-like motions she saw that day. She was reminded of the move that Zuko used to redirect her lightning attack...

Oh.

As Zuko had already impugned the family honor (in more ways than one), Azula decided that she was not going to be left behind when it came to martial knowledge. So she began her self-taught lessons in the waterbending style. Using the texts that she found in the royal library (which bore the faint aroma of tea for some reason), Azula grimly set about learning this 'inferior' art.

And this new knowledge had helped her figure out a very interesting limitation to her restraints. The restraints she wore detected energy usage beyond a certain point. As long as she stayed beneath that threshold she was free to manipulate her internal energy as she liked. She couldn't create flame, but there might be other things she could do.

Azula was acutely aware that the earthbender was probably keeping track of her martial arts training through her unique sensory capabilities. It was only natural that Azula would want to get back into shape as best she could, but learning waterbending would have been much too suspicious even for someone as laidback as Zuko was proving to be.

She wasn't too concerned though. Toph might be able to tell that she was exercising, but she shouldn't be able to tell what specific upper body movements she was doing. Even so, Azula only practiced her waterbending moves when she was certain that Toph was asleep or out of range. Practicing on top of materials that didn't conduct vibrations well was another precaution she took.

All this secret practice would give one the impression that she was serious about escaping, but she still hadn't fully decided one way or another. She simply wanted to keep her options open. Common sense dictated that she had an avenue of leaving the palace even if she never used it. But there were two main obstacles to her freedom.

Her biggest enemy was the climate. Azula pressed her hand against the window glass and felt the residual heat warm her palm. The restraints allowed her to go outside only for short periods of time, and she would be fine as long as she didn't exert herself. Even then it was a strain to not break a sweat. The idea that she could make it more than a hundred steps from the palace without her restraints reacting to the heat was laughable. It was not that much cooler at night either.

Azula smiled joylessly. Zuko had managed to create a prison the size of the Fire Nation.

She could wait until winter, but that brought about its own set of problems, and she was not willing to wait that long. Also, while the weather presented an obstacle, Azula did not believe that it presented an insurmountable problem. It was a challenge, but it was not as difficult as the other reason that she could not leave. She didn't even have a glimpse of an idea of what she should do about that.

Even if she escaped, even if she managed to get the restraints off, where was she going to go? Her features and manner were too distinctive for her to remain undetected in the Fire Nation cities for long. Was she going to live in the woods like an animal? Run to the Earth Kingdom and spend the rest of her life in a strange and hostile land? Her only other option was to hide with one of the other noble families; nobles who would either turn her in for the award money or use her in one of their power struggles against Zuko.

_I'd like to see them try, _Azula thought with a sneer._ Long Feng thought he could outwit me for his own ends and look at where is now. _

On the other hand, look at where _she _was now. There was a small part of her that was tempted to get back into the world of political intrigue and manipulation, but she knew that would only be trading one prison for another. Anyone who sheltered her would have power over her, and any who would want to help her would most likely just want to use her to get Zuko off the throne. That idea surprisingly held little interest for her.

Azula knew that everyone expected her to make to make an attempt for the throne sooner or later. She didn't feel like giving into their expectations. And she had held the throne before. It had only taken less than a day for her to realize that it would be impossible for her to keep it. And for what purpose? She had never really cared that much about the people outside the Fire Nation borders. Hell, she had never really cared that much about people in general!

Before her father had abdicated the throne to her, she had never harbored any real ambitions to become Fire Lord. Oh, she had fantasized about being the ruler of the Fire Nation, but she had no illusions about it happening any time soon, if ever. She had no plans to bump off her father the way he had gotten rid of her grandfather. She had been happy enough working with him to increase the size and prestige of the country because that was what he wanted.

For a moment, she idly pondered the merits of breaking her father out of prison, but she had enough problems as it was. She didn't need the burden that a powerless firebender would pose. He had always taught her to disdain weakness, and he was now weaker than she was. His power was completely gone whereas hers was merely restrained.

Besides, staying under his thumb was not as appealing as it used to be for some reason. And if he was free, all he would want would be to become Fire Lord again. If she wasn't interested in a such a quixotic endeavor then she certainly didn't care about helping someone else achieve it. Not anymore. Not after he simply left her without a second thought like that.

Azula loved having power, but there was a certain point at which having power was more hassle than fun. And being Fire Lord had been less fun than she could have imagined. She wasn't interested in the daily operations of running a county. She liked to fight, but she knew that being in charge of an army would actually leave her with fewer opportunities to get out in the field.

Sitting on that throne and slowly losing her mind, she had discovered something about herself. She had gained the highest rank in the Fire Nation and more power than she knew what to do with, and instead of feeling exhilarated, she just felt... hollow. Being Fire Lord hadn't given her what she truly wanted.

She didn't know what that was, but she knew this wasn't it. It had shook her that first time when she realized that she didn't know what she wanted out of life. She had always prided herself on having control over her body and her destiny, but she had simply been fooling herself. She didn't have control over anything at all. That realization had caused her to withdraw from the world.

Azula had thought that staying with Zuko might help her with this problem. He seemed to have gotten over his own annoying existential crisis, but watching him with his friends just left her with that same empty, frustrated feeling. What did Zuko want from her? What did she want from herself?

It wasn't until she threw Zuko out of her room that she realized that even if she had wanted to, she would never truly belong here. The truth was the Avatar and the others were Zuko's friends. Her presence in her brother's life was something he could revoke at any time and for any reason. That was unacceptable.

She was in danger of falling into the same lethargic trap she had fallen into at the institution. Azula could admit this to herself. She wasn't happy. She hadn't been happy in a very long time, and something had to change. She had to leave now or she was going to continue to fade into a shadow of her former self.

Azula still didn't know where she was going to go. All she knew was that she couldn't stay here.

* * *

All Azula needed was the right moment.

Actually, she was waiting for one specific moment. One that would have to come about by the dictates of simple biology and her brother's compassion.

And when Zuko came into her room with Toph, Doctor Kuzon, and a dozen guards in tow, she knew that moment had arrived.

"Long time no see," Toph said to Azula as she entered the room.

Despite herself, Azula's lips curved upward ever so slightly. She replied, "Long time no bend."

Zuko looked at the both of them and rolled his eyes. He turned to the older physician next to him and asked, "Would you explain what is happening today?"

Doctor Kuzon turned to Azula and gave her a slight bow. He said, "Princess Azula, it is good to see that you are looking well."

Azula arched an eyebrow. She replied, "Was there ever any doubt?"

"I'm sure that being in familiar surroundings has helped greatly with your recovery," the doctor replied, smoothly evading her awkward question with long-practiced ease. He continued, "I'm certain that you have already surmised why we are here today."

Azula raised her arm, allowing her sleeve to fall back to reveal the shiny metal band encircling her wrist.

Kuzon nodded at her. He said, "The negative effects of long-term restraints are well known. A person who wears chains or manacles for long periods of time is prone to developing a variety of physical problems such as skin trauma, pressure ulcers, and circulation complications due to the constant rubbing of skin on metal. In order to prevent permanent damage to your extremities from this friction, I have recommended to the Fire Lord that your restraints be removed for a few hours every month."

"Don't be getting any ideas," Zuko warned.

Azula looked at him disdainfully then she said, "While it is flattering that you consider me such a danger that you'd brought half the palace with you, I assure you that I will not be acting like I'm in a production of the Ember Island Players."

Zuko looked over at Toph who simply shrugged back at him. She said, "You know that I can't read Platypus Bear. I'm just here to make sure that none of these big lugs have been swayed to the dark side."

The big lugs in question were currently boarding up her windows or arranging themselves in optimal positions around the room. Soon, the room was cast in shadows as the only light illuminating the room was what came from the mounted torches on the walls.

Azula hadn't even bothered to try to turn any of the guards to her side as she assumed (correctly, as it turned out) that Toph would be keeping an ear out for any physical sign of disloyalty or doubt toward their Fire Lord. Zuko had also taken the precaution of rotating her guard detail on a regular basis so that they wouldn't lose their vigilance due to boredom and overconfidence.

"We'll be taking your restraints off one pair at a time starting with the ones around your ankles and ending with the one around your neck," Kuzon said. "Be aware that the remaining bands will be sufficient to immobilize you should the need arise. It might take a bit longer, but the end result will be the same."

_And if those don't work to stop you then these friendly, burly gentlemen will_, Azula thought sardonicallyas she passively followed the doctor's directions as he directed her to sit down on one of her armchairs and put her feet in a wooden tub of warm water.

Azula raised her foot as Toph crouched down beside her chair. The tiny earthbender smirked at her and said, "You better not be expecting me to kiss that."

With a slight pang, Azula realized that she was going to miss this little brat. She was then distracted by the sensation of the metal band loosening and then sliding off her foot. The restraint hadn't been particularly heavy or tight, but it was amazing how different her leg felt without it.

She watched as the doctor smeared a salve of some kind on the ring of pale skin that encircled her ankle then after he and Toph repeated the process with other other leg she closed her eyes. She didn't feel like talking to anybody, especially her brother.

Time passed as she soaked her ankles in the water, and she settled into a controlled doze. The atmosphere in the room felt tense, and she could feel dozens of eyes watching her. Azula had the brief urge to flick some water with her feet at Zuko just to spark a reaction from the guards, but she realized that the result would probably be more suicidal than funny.

The only way to keep track of the passage of time was by the occasional turning over of the hourglass. After a few such rotations, Azula opened her eyes. Zuko was visibly bored but trying hard not to show it. Toph, who didn't care about such niceties as decorum, was yawning and stretching loudly. The guards had remained vigilantly attentive. She watched dispassionately as Toph metal-bended the ankle restraints back on her.

Looking at Zuko's tired face, she could tell that he was on the verge of asking Kuzon if they could continue with this the next day. Azula quickly said, "I know that I say a lot of bad things about you Zuzu, and I mean every single one of them, but I have to say that I'm impressed. Most wardens wouldn't take such good care of their prisoners."

Zuko scowled at her. He replied, "What kind of person do you take me for? I told you before, didn't I? I'm trying to help you, not mess you up."

While he was talking, Azula had stuck her wrists out and Toph had automatically acted to expand the wrist restraints so that they could easily slip off. All the guards tensed as Azula started rubbing her wrists. She ignored them as she held her hands out so that the doctor could put the salve on them. She grimaced as the slightly raw skin tingled a bit as the salve was applied.

She closed her eyes again and waited. She breathed deeply and slowly, feeling the heat of her breath circulate through her body. About an hour later, Azula's eyes snapped open. She glared at Zuko who had been reading through some files and doing some administrative work.

"This is boring!" Azula announced loudly.

Zuko sighed as if he had been expecting this outburst for some time now. He said, "Would you like me to call one of the story-tellers or musicians in?"

Azula snapped, "Do I look like a child? Besides, I can hardly enjoy myself surrounded by people who look like I want to eat them!"

Zuko gave her a curious look then he said, "I hope you're not suggesting that I ask the guards to leave just so you can feel more comfortable."

Azula gave a sigh of frustration. She replied, "Don't be stupid. I'm just tired of sitting here. I want to take a bath. Would that be alright with you, oh _gracious and gallant _Fire Lord?"

Zuko grimaced at her sarcastic tone. His eyes flickered uneasily over at the door that led to the connecting bathroom. He said uncertainly, "Couldn't you just wait a little longer? I think we're almost done here-"

"Oh, for Agni's sake! Are you worried that I'm going to make a sword out of my beauty soap? I just want to be able to take a hot bath for once without worrying that I'm going to pass out and drown in my own tub! But I forget that I'm just your prisoner. Perhaps we should have your minions conduct a strip search and get an eyeful first!"

Azula made a move to disrobe herself and Zuko's face instantly turned red. He said hastily, "That won't be necessary."

Zuko appeared to be thinking quickly. He turned to two of the guards and said, "I want you two to secure the bathroom. Come back when you've done a complete search. Everyone else, remain in your positions. Except for you, Toph. I want you to go in with Azula and check her for weapons. I also want you to keep an eye on- uh..."

"No need for all that, Lord Foot in the Mouth," Toph said as she turned toward Azula with her sightless gaze. "She's not carrying anything from what I can tell. Anyway, it doesn't matter where I am so I might as well stay out here. I can sense if anything weird is going on in there from here just fine."

"What kind of noises would you consider funny?" Azula asked in a suggestive tone.

To her amusement, the earthbender's ears turned red. Azula would have thought that the girl would be used to locker room talk. Then again, Toph probably didn't spend a lot of time hanging out in male changing rooms. With a smirk, Azula ruffled Toph's hair as she passed by her toward the bathroom.

"Hey!"

Azula chuckled to herself as she twisted the knob on the faucet to get the water running. She wondered if things would have turned out differently for her if she had a younger sister instead of an older brother. Sadly, they probably would have ended up trying to kill each other. Anyway, events were unfolding much better than she had planned so far. It greatly simplified matters to not have Toph in here with her. Not that it would have made much difference. Toph's blindness gave her great strength, but it was still her greatest weakness.

The tub finally filled to the rim. Azula quickly took off her clothes and climbed into the tub. With a sigh, she sank down until her head was barely above the water. There was nothing in the world quite like an _ice cold_ bath.

The chill of the water bit her hard, and she could feel it permeating into her bones, but she had practiced for days to be able to take this discomfort without sign or sound. She could feel her body temperature rapidly dropping as the minutes slowly ticked by.

_Just a little longer... _

Azula fought the urge to shiver, but she couldn't completely stop the trembling in her whitening fingers. She exerted all of her control to keep her heart rate from beating too rapidly, but she could feel that control starting to slip as her body struggled to initiate its heat-preserving reactions.

Any longer in this water and not only would she be risking hypothermia but she'd possibly be raising Toph's suspicions to the point that the girl would feel obligated to check in on her. Azula was certain that Toph couldn't sense her condition through all this water, but she wasn't willing to take the chance that she could.

_So I better hope that I did that move correctly. If my calculations are correct then..._

_3...2...1..._

"Lady Toph!"

"Toph, what's wrong? Are you all right?"

Azula instantly pulled herself out of the bath. The delayed-reaction chi tap that Ty Lee had taught her years ago would distract them only momentarily. She was a little sluggish from the cold, but she had expected that and had trained to quickly overcome it. Her mind was already racing to the next step even as her heart maintained the steady beat that proclaimed that she had not even begun to exert herself.

She threw open the bathroom door.

_Beat. _

All the conscious eyes in the room turned away from Toph's slumped and unconscious body to look at her.

_Beat._

Looks of astonishment appeared at the sight of her standing proudly and defiantly in her nudity.

_Beat._

Azula was already half-way across the room when the guards overcame their intial surprise.

_Beat._

Hands reached out to grab her as the circle of guards converged in toward the center of the room where the Fire Lord was sitting.

_Beat._

Zuko's eyes widened as he saw the spear hand heading toward his throat.

_Beat._

Then the flame torches went out.

Azula instantly redirected the momentum of her 'attack' into a dive-roll just as the first pair of guards leaped at where she had been standing.

Thump.

"Get off me!" Zuko yelled.

In the darkness, it was impossible to realize that Zuko's scream was the result of being tackled by his men and not the result of him being horribly murdered. It was the natural conclusion to draw, and Azula relied on the confusion and darkness to peel the guards away from the door to rescue their Fire Lord.

Taking advantage of this sudden opportunity, Azula threw open the door and rolled beneath the arms of the two guards who had been prepared to grab someone running out at chest-level. Before they could recover from their mistake, Azula was already almost at the end of the hall.

She was fortunate that the hallway hadn't been littered with armed guards. That would have made her escape a lot dicier. She had been counting on Zuko not wanting everybody to think that he was scared of his little sister, and that gamble had paid off. Now she just had to make it out of the palace before her body warmed up enough to make further movement impossible.

Despite the fact that she was nowhere near freedom yet, she couldn't help but smile. She wished that she could have seen the look on Zuko's face when she'd caused the lights to go out. In her study of waterbending, she had thought long and hard about the redirection of energy and forces. It had occurred to her that her restraints prevented her from collecting the necessary energy to _generate _fire. Perhaps she would have better luck manipulating the energy of existing flame.

Unfortunately, her secretive experiments had shown her that the amount of internal energy she could use without setting off the restraints was not large enough to create an attack witheven a small fire...

...but it was enough to _extinguish _it.

Ironically, she had the Avatar to thank for this inspiration.

When she had been running at Zuko, Azula had been concerned that she wouldn't be able to disperse all of the flames around her, but she had pulled it off. Perhaps now that she had managed to get her wrist restraints removed she could do more than simply put out fires, but such thoughts would have to be saved for later. This was not the time for experimenting.

The startled cries of red-faced maids made Azula remember that there was one small detail that she had to worry about. A quick stop into a scribe's office, the use of a letter opener, and one torn curtain later and she was garbed in an improvised toga. She would have preferred something a bit more dignified, but she could already hear the pounding footsteps of her pursuers. She tucked the letter opener into the folds of her toga, ducked back out in the hallway, and kept running.

Her room was on the top floor of the palace. There was no way she would be able to get past all the guards on the remaining floors without being tackled or paralyzed by her remaining restraints. But that was only a problem if she was planning to do something as stupid as trying to walk out the front door. Fortunately, she wasn't planning on taking the direct route.

Breathing heavily, Azula stopped by a large portrait of her grandfather Sozin. After quickly establishing that no one was around, she pressed a hidden panel by the painting. A section of the wall swung open on cleverly hidden hinges. This beautiful sight caused Azula to smile.

Father had not lied to her about the secret passages riddled throughout the palace. She had always suspected that they existed (what intelligent royal family would not build escape routes into their homes?), but she had no idea where more than one or two entrances were until fairly recently. Fire Lord Ozai had not been a very trusting man, not even of his own family, and it wasn't until a few months before the Day of Black Sun that he had deigned to tell his daughter about all of the passages in their home.

Walking downward in between the walls, Azula carefully maneuvered her way down the creaky stairs. There was no light as she had no candles and she couldn't risk experimenting to see if she had enough power to create a spark. The chill from her ice bath was already rapidly wearing off, and she didn't want to speed that process along.

Her pace was slow because of the darkness, but she wasn't worried. She was confident that Zuko didn't know about the passages. Father would never have entrusted such information to him. By the time Zuko tracked down which escape avenue she had used, she would be long gone.

Having eluded her pursuers, Azula had the time to think over her reckless plan. Much of her plan had been composed of calculated gambles. The failure of any one of those gambles would have doomed her entire endeavor but what was life without a little risk? Perhaps it would have been safer for her to simply sneak out in the middle of the night, but she was certain that she wouldn't have gotten very far.

With the vibration-sensing earthbender temporarily out of the way and two of her restraints removed, her chances of successfully escaping were much higher. So were the chances of getting caught, but she hadn't gotten as far as she had in life by being timid. And Azula had to admit that her ego had chafed at the idea of simply running away from her brother under the cover of darkness like some shameful child.

Azula quickened her pace when she saw a point of light ahead of her. A few minutes later, she had quietly exited the passage into an empty hallway by the kitchens. Now she just had to dash for the nearby entrance to the underground catacombs where it was cool enough that she should be able to make it to the city without too many rest stops.

"Azula?"

_Shit._

Azula turned around with her heart sinking as she faced the one variable that she hadn't been able to control.

The Avatar.

The young monk stepped out of the shadows onto her path with a resolute look on his face.

Somehow, the reds and yellows of his typical garb seemed sharper in the dim lighting of the hallway, which gave him a somewhat intimidating demeanor. He held his staff in his hands with the obvious intent of stopping her by any mean necessary. And as a wielder of all four elements, those means were definitely formidable.

Azula sighed.

The first crack in her plan had appeared when she noticed that Aang wouldn't be joining Zuko and the others in overseeing the temporary removal of her restraints. His absence had caused her to hesitate, and if she had been more prudent she would have delayed her plan until the next time. But she couldn't stay any longer, and she couldn't risk the chance that she wouldn't have such advantageous security arrangements the next time around.

So she had risked everything on the possibility that Aang wasn't as proficient at tracking people through the earth as Toph. That was one gamble that failed to pay off.

Azula suddenly felt overcome by a wave of fatigue. The adrenaline must have finally worn off. It was pathetic how winded she was from such little exertion. She slumped to her knees, cursing her weak body.

"Are you okay?" Aang asked, kneeling down next to her with concern in his voice.

Azula immediately slugged him in the jaw as hard as she could.

The Avatar's eyes rolled back and his body fell back onto the unforgiving stone floor with a heavy thud.

Azula stood over him, breathing heavily. She wiped the sweat off her brow and then looked at the drops on her hand with dismay. The chill had finally worn off. She could feel her feet and toes starting to tingle. The numbness was starting.

She grit her teeth. This was a minor obstacle. If she could make it to the catacombs and find a cool place to rest for a few minutes before it was too late-

"That's far enough."

Azula's face whipped around, and she watched in shock as Zuko came out of the hidden passageway she had just exited. At the same moment, her body was finally overcome by paralysis. She slumped against the wall as she slowly lost the strength to stand. She asked, "How-?"

Zuko sighed. Then he said, "You underestimated Toph. After she discovered that I didn't know about the empty spaces behind my walls, she helped me locate every secret passage in the palace. I had Sokka and Suki watching the entrances closest to your room today. They told me which passage you used."

Azula had never even noticed that she'd been watched. That was unforgivably sloppy of her.

"So this was all just a set-up?" Azula asked in a ragged voice.

"I knew that you were going to try to escape sooner or later," Zuko replied. "I would do the same in your position. I knew you would try to escape, and I wanted it done on my terms. I figured today would be the day, especially after our last fight, and I thought that I'd let you get it out of your system. I didn't actually expect you to make it this far though!"

"What happens now?"

Zuko shrugged. "We go back to your room and act like this never happened. Think of this as a freebie. But keep in mind that this is your _only _get-out-of-jail free card. You didn't hurt anybody though Doctor Kuzon thinks that Toph's going to wake up with a killer headache, and I figure the knowledge that you've been outsmarted is punishment enough."

"How condescending of you," Azula said icily.

Azula considered her options. Surrender was clearly out. She wouldn't give her brother that satisfaction. She needed to keep Zuko talking and buy some time. Her body was slowly regaining feeling, and she would be able to move soon. She thought about the letter opener that she had hidden in the folds of her makeshift toga. It wasn't much of a weapon, but it would have to do.

Her eyes flickered over to the Avatar's prone body. Okay, new plan. Use the monk's body as hostage and human shield at least until she got to the tunnels. Once she made it into the honey-combed network of caverns, even the world's greatest earthbender would have difficulty tracking her down.

Zuko seemed to know what she was thinking because a weary look came over his face. He sighed then he said, "Whatever you're planning, it's no use. Think about it, Azula. I've known about the passages for _weeks _now. Even if I didn't think you'd make it this far, I still wouldn't take that chance. I had all the entrances to the underground tunnels sealed long before I let you come home."

Azula's last hope died. There was no other viable way out. The only other avenue of escape would have been to run directly outside, and there was no way she could survive in the open against both palace security and the oppressive heat.

All of this had been for nothing.

"This was just a game to you, wasn't it?"

"What?" Zuko asked, obviously taken back.

"You knew that I couldn't escape, but you didn't tell me. You just wanted me to get this 'out of my system.' Now you're just going to act like this never happened? What the hell is this? Nobody is this damn understanding! What do you want from me, Zuko? And don't tell me that you just want to help me! I know that you've hated me! So what is your deal? Tell me what you want from me!"

Azula could see that Zuko was trying to answer. He was trying to say something, but she was too angry to listen. She didn't care what he had to say. He had made a fool of her again. Ever since their Agni Kai, she had been led around by whatever it was that Zuko wanted. He kept pushing her and pushing her to be 'better' than she was, as if there was something wrong with her in the first place.

She was sick of it.

Heat poured into her hands, hot and heavy. She could feel the needles in her restraints snap out into her chi points trying to stop her from her intended action. But their effects were weakened by the lack of their brethren, and Azula instinctively knew that they would not stop her in time. Not this time.

The odds were that she would be immediately paralyzed after this shot, and she wouldn't have accomplished anything except making things worse for herself, but she didn't care. She didn't even care if this effort stopped her heart and killed her.

She. Just. Didn't. Care.

Time seemed to slow as the power traveled down the chi meridians of her arm and paused, quivering with anticipation, in the palm of her right hand. She saw Zuko's face slowly configuring itself into an expression of surprise as her brother realized what she was about to do.

Before he could react, Azula thrust her hand out at him expecting a deadly lance of flame.

Nothing happened.

Not even a puff of smoke.

Azula blinked. Something should have happened. She had felt the power flow. It should have released. Azula didn't know what was happening, and judging from Zuko's face, neither did he.


	10. Frustrations

**-Chapter 10: Frustrations-**

"You knew that I couldn't escape, but you didn't tell me. You just wanted me to get this 'out of my system.' Now you're just going to act like this never happened? What the hell is this? Nobody is this damn understanding!"

Azula brushed her hair out of her eyes and glared fiercely at him. She said, "What do you want from me, Zuko? And don't tell me that you just want to help me! I know that you've hated me! So what is your deal? Tell me what you want from me!"

Zuko felt like screaming. What did he have to do to convince his sister that he wanted to help her? He had released her from captivity and given her as much freedom as possible under the circumstances. He had given up trade concessions to get the other nations off his back about that very action. He had tried to get closer to her. Then when he was worried about being overbearing, he had tried giving her space. He tried being nice and he tried being firm.

Yet despite all his efforts Azula still acted like he was out to get her somehow. He knew that his sister wasn't prone to trust, but this was ridiculous. Did she really think that he was simply trying to manipulate her into doing his bidding?

She probably did. Why wouldn't she? He had never really told her his reasons for helping her after all. He would have been suspicious too if Azula had suddenly come up to him one day and proclaimed that she wanted to be friends with him.

"_I know that you've hated me!"_

Was it his imagination or had her voice broken at that point? No, that was absurd. Azula had never cared about what he thought of her. In fact, she reveled in his disdain. She laughed when Father had burned him. He was under no illusions that she was secretly full of sisterly affection for him.

But yet...

He believed that people could change. Uncle Iroh had taught him that. Aang and his friends had forced him to actually take that lesson to heart. He had come to care for people and ideas that he had despised and rejected all of his life. It had been a long and painful process, and he could understand Azula's resistance to his efforts. He knew what it was like to want to go home only to discover that one can never truly go back to what was.

But the world kept changing. One either adapted or got left behind. And if he could change then so could she. It was just harder to believe that some days than others.

Zuko gave a concerned glance over at Aang who was still out cold on the ground. He had to admit that he was impressed with his sister and how far she had gotten. He had always admired her sharp mind even if he often wished that she could have turned it to better ends.

He had been shocked by her knowledge of pressure point attacks, but he shouldn't have been in retrospect. Azula hated having anyone be better than her than anything. In addition, she would have wanted to be prepared against any form of attack in case her friends ever betrayed her. Ironically, her paranoia turned out to be correct on that point.

As Zuko watched Azula gather the power to lash out at him, he reflected that this was one of the harder days. He was truly concerned. What was she thinking? He could divert any attack she could generate in her current state with the wave of a hand. All she was going to accomplish was knocking herself out. That was assuming that she didn't kill herself-

Suddenly feeling alarmed, Zuko shouted, "Azula! Stop!"

Azula thrust her hand out at him. Zuko tensed, horrified that he was about to see his sister keel over dead.

Nothing happened.

In other circumstances, the look of utter bafflement on his sister's face might have been amusing. Azula stared at her hands like they had personally betrayed her. The last time Zuko had seen her so distraught was when Katara had defeated her. Expressions of disbelief, horror, and confusion flickered over her face.

Then all of her contrasting emotions settled into one. Anger.

"What did you do to me?" Azula yelled.

Somehow Zuko saw that coming. He sighed then replied, "Azula, not every bad thing that happens to you is my fault."

Azula crossed her arms and replied crossly, "Recent history seems to suggest otherwise."

Zuko was about to make a snide remark in response until he saw the trembling in her fingers and the tinge of panic in her eyes. He berated himself for not noticing earlier that Azula was just putting up a strong front. Of course she would be on the verge of falling apart. Her entire identity was bound up in being a firebender.

After a moment's thought, Zuko said, "I think I may know what's going on. Something like this has happened to me before. It was when I first joined up with the Avatar. I first noticed the problem when I was teaching him."

Zuko paused but Azula didn't seem inclined to snort with derision as she usually did whenever he mentioned how he taught Aang how to firebend. Instead, she was staring at him with rapt attention. A little unsettled, he continued, "It was gradual. My flames got weaker and weaker, and it was harder than usual to focus my chi. Then one morning I lost my ability to bend at all."

"What was the reason?"

Zuko rubbed the back of his head ruefully. He said, "I was apparently experiencing a spiritual crisis. I had just turned against Father and my home, and I had joined up with the people who I'd been hunting all over the world. Let's say that I was more than a little confused at the time. You know the old saying. 'If your heart is cloudy, then no spark can ignite from it.'"

"Spare me the fortune cookie sayings. How did you fix the problem?"

Zuko hesitated a bit. He definitely could not tell her about the dragons. That was a secret between Aang and himself. And also his uncle now that he thought about it. Realizing that he was getting off track, he said, "I had to make peace with myself, resolve my inner conflict, and commit myself to a new purpose in life. I had to break away from my past so that I could become a different person. It was after this that I was able to firebend again."

Azula laughed. It was a bitter and hollow sound.

"Oh, is that all? Give me a break. Maybe your mind is weak enough that you could angst yourself into getting a psychological block, but I don't see how that applies to me. I know who I am, and I have always been satisfied with that. No, what's more likely is that your cute devices here broke my bending."

Again, there was a hint of uncertainty in her voice. Zuko replied, "That is a possibility, but I really don't think-"

"That's enough, Zuzu," Azula said softly. She pulled her knees against her body. Her hair covered her eyes when she turned her head away. She said, "I've already lost everything else I'd ever cared about. The only luck I seem to have these days is bad luck. Why should this be any different?"

"Azula..."

"Just leave me alone."

Zuko was about to protest until she looked up at him, and, for a split second, he saw an expression of loss and despair. Her face quickly hardened into its customary blankness, but he knew what he had seen. He knew then that she wasn't going to listen to any reassurances he could give.

It was strange that even though Azula was the one who had lost her bending, he was the one who felt completely powerless.

* * *

"I don't know what to do, Uncle."

Zuko stared morosely at his cup of tea while his uncle heartily took a sip from his. The two of them were sitting in the seating area of his bedroom, away from curious eyes and prying ears. Mai was lying on the bed with her eyes closed, but he had no doubt that she was listening and would interject when she felt the need to do so.

Iroh looked at him with warm, patient eyes and said, "You don't know what to do? With regard to what?"

Where could Zuko even start? Should he start with the most obvious problem, that he was a teenager in charge of running a kingdom? Even though he had been raised to rule and learned from his tutors all the necessary lessons about politics, diplomacy, warfare and so on, he simply did not possess the experience of having power over large numbers of people like his uncle did.

It was very tiring running an empire, especially one that he was having to rebuild from the ground up. Oh, he had scores of advisers, many of whom he didn't fully trust, but the suggestions of those who never held power over life and death only went so far.

He was also constantly having to search for trustworthy personnel in a nation of warmongers. At the suggestions of his friends and his uncle, he had given Jeong Jeong (the infamous Deserter) and Master Piandao the task of reforming and rebuilding the military. It was a shame that such stern and honorable men were few and far between in this country.

"Zuko," Iroh said in a slightly chiding tone. "I know all of this already from the letters you have sent to me in Ba Sing Se. This is not the real reason you wish to speak with me."

No, it wasn't. Zuko was always happy to have his uncle visit him, but the old man had picked an especially good time to arrive. He needed an older and wiser head to help him deal with his sister's mental health. Yet he was a bit hesitant to bring up the matter with his uncle given his past opinions about Azula. Zuko had shared those very same opinions once, and he didn't want to start a fight over his change of heart.

"I wanted to talk about Azula."

Iroh's face shifted into a neutral expression. He said, "I see."

"I know that you probably think that what I'm doing with Azula is a bad idea-"

"On the contrary, I have come to believe that the project you are engaging in is a worthwhile one."

"Really?"

"Family is important. My brother never understood that. I saw much of him in Azula and that may have caused me to shy away from her and from him. I am ashamed of that, and I have been trying to make amends. Did you know that I am planning to visit your father while I am here?"

"I did not," Zuko replied with widened eyes.

Iroh leaned foward in his chair. Then he said, "I have written him many letters over the years ever since you were banished. Ozai was all too happy when I volunteered to accompany you on your search for the Avatar. He had grown weary of my 'addled preachings' as he called it, and he thought I would lose quickly lose interest in arguing with him if we were thousands of miles apart. He was wrong. I wrote to him constantly even though I suspected that he would not read my letters. I write to him still."

"Why do you bother?"

"Because of the hope that he will someday read them. It would be easy to give up on him, but he is my brother. I do not approve of what he has done, but nobody deserves to be given up on. So you see, it would be the height of hypocrisy if I was to tell you to give up on your sister."

"Do you- do you think that I should go see Father too?" Zuko asked. He had mixed feelings about doing that, but how could his not ask after hearing his uncle's words?

Iroh smiled gently at him before he said, "Maybe not right now but some day when time has managed to heal some of the wounds between you two. And only then if you sincerely want to do so. There is nothing worse than helping someone sorely out of some misguided notion of obligation. It only breeds resentment."

"You're probably right," Zuko said. He felt a burst of relief at his uncle's words, and he felt a little ashamed of that, but it would be a long time before he felt comfortable about seeing his father. He also couldn't imagine that the former Fire Lord would be particularly happy to see the person who had taken his throne.

He noticed that Iroh was scrutunizing him carefully. The older man asked, "Have you ever considered that your desire to help Azula stems partly from the guilt you feel from imprisoning your own father?"

"Of course I have," Zuko replied. "It doesn't take a genius to see that I have family issues. My mother abandoned me, my father hates me, and even you live so far away now. But it's not just a longing for family that makes me want to help Azula. It just doesn't seem fair to write her off so easily."

Zuko ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He said, "I can't stop thinking about all the stupid stuff I've done in my life, and where I'd be if I didn't have people like you who thought that I was worth taking a chance on. But Azula doesn't get that! She thinks this is some kind of brainwashing technique to break her will or something."

"You can't really blame her," Mai said from the bed without opening her eyes. "You two have been at each other's throats for years. I do think, however, that you underestimate how much Azula values your opinion of her."

"That's ridiculous!"

"Is it really? I admit that I don't fully understand how Azula's mind works, but I know her and how she thinks better than anyone. In her mind, it has always been a competition between you and her. She gets pleasure out of aggravating you because it was important to her that you thought that she was someone who could consistently outwit and manipulate you."

"She did consistently outwit and manipulate me," Zuko said sourly.

Continuing as if he hadn't said anything, Mai said, "She needed you to fail so that she could feel better about herself. But you're the one who's ahead of her now. You hold the position your father once held. You took all the crap life threw at you and prospered. And now you sit in judgment of _her_ and find her wanting. It must really frustrate her.

"She'd deny it to her dying breath, but I think she actually respects you now. The main problem here is that Azula wants you to accept her as she is. She's resisting you because consciously or not she thinks you're trying to take what's left of her identity."

Zuko wrinkled his nose thoughtfully. He said, "I know that she'll never be a nice and caring girl, but she needs to learn that she doesn't need to hurt others to feel good about herself. I want her to understand that other people have feelings too."

"Oh, she knows that other people have feelings," Mai said. "She just doesn't care."

Zuko scowled at her even though he knew she couldn't see it, but he also had to admit that she wasn't wrong. Even so, he felt the need to defend his sister a little. He said, "Do you really want to tell me that it was one never-ending litany of horrors with my sister? That you never enjoyed any of the time you spent with her? Because I grew up around the both of you and that certainly didn't seem to be the case."

There was a long silence before Mai replied, "Fine, I had fun with her. She could even be nice when the mood struck her. She wasn't a completely horrible person. Happy?"

"So there's a chance that she could change for the better then."

"A _small _chance."

Iroh spoke up before Zuko could formulate a response. He said, "I think we are agreed as to the objective here. What we need to focus on is the means."

That was the type of strategic thinking that he needed. He asked, "Do you have any ideas, Uncle?"

Iroh rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He replied, "Azula understandably fears the loss of control. She probably feels like she is standing on a precipice. The more you try to coax her to come see the beautiful view, the more she stubbornly clings to the cliff face. Nobody likes to be pushed around. I believe that Azula will be more amenable to change if it was done on her own terms.

"In a way it may be a blessing in disguise that Azula lost her bending the way she did. If you had removed it intentionally then she would never have trusted you. But this way she will be forced to figure out who she is without her bending. I believe then that her bending will return.

"However, you must also play your part, Zuko. You have been trying to push her out of her lethargy and you have succeeded, but it is time for you to change tactics."

"What would you suggest?" Zuko asked.

Iroh smiled at him serenely then he said, "It is the natural instinct of older brothers to assume that they know what is best for their younger siblings. It can be an annoying trait. Have you tried _asking _her what she wants?"

* * *

Toph's head throbbed. It throbbed and it ached. It throbbed and it ached and felt like it was on the verge of cracking open like an egg. She felt like she had just drank a bottle of firewhiskey and then smashed her head into a wall for an hour.

If it wasn't impossible, she would have sworn that spots were dancing before her eyes.

Doctor Kuzon had told her that the chi tap that knocked her unconscious wasn't harmful and that she would be fine in a few hours. That reassurance was the only thing that was keeping her from jumping off the palace balcony to end the pain.

Okay, she was being overly dramatic, but her head hurt, darn it! She was _so _going to get Azula back for this.

"Toph, I'm really not in the mood for this," Azula said. Her voice sounded muffled because she was lying in bed with her face in her pillow.

"And I really wasn't in the mood to have my brain cells scrambled!"

Azula rolled over so that she could look at the fuming earthbender. She asked, "Why are you even here? I wouldn't think that you'd want to see me again after what I did."

"I couldn't even if I wanted to," Toph replied with a shrug.

"What? Oh, the blind thing. I must really be out of it," Azula said. She sounded tired and distracted.

Toph wanted to scream and rant some more, but she could see that the older girl wasn't going to be paying any attention, which was disappointing. She had a few more good complaints in her that she would have liked to get off her chest.

"I know that it sucks for you that you couldn't escape, but you seem more upset about it than I'd thought you'd be. I know something happened between you and Zuko down there. What's wrong?"

"Why do you care?" Azula muttered.

"Look, princess. I'm mad at you even though I totally expected you to do something like what you did. I am the biggest, baddest obstacle in your way to freedom after all. I'm still getting you back the first chance I get, but right now I don't think I should leave you alone."

There was a long pause before Azula answered and when she did Toph could hear astonishment in her voice.

"You actually think of me as a friend, don't you?"

"Something wrong with that?" Toph asked, crossing her arms.

"I simply thought you had more sense than that. I don't want friends."

"Good. I've seen how you treated the last pair you had. Besides, I don't recall saying that I'm _your_ friend. But I do consider you one of mine."

"You do realize that makes no sense, right?"

Toph's plan to distract Azula from her angsting seemed to be working. The older girl was sitting up on her bed now and Toph imagined that she was looking at her with puzzlement.

"I thought you'd be thrilled," Toph said. "You could use this as a chance to use and bend me to your evil whims!"

"Aren't friends supposed to speak more highly of each other?" Azula asked dryly.

Toph snorted. She replied, "Oh please. Friends know better than anyone how annoying their other friends are. Aang's an airhead. Katara's a nag. Sokka has more meat in his head than brain cells And Zuko's a pill. But I like them anyway."

"So what do you think about me?"

Toph thought this over for a moment. "I think you're the most dangerous person I've ever known."

"I'm flattered," Azula said. There was a definite spark of amusement in her voice.

"I'm a simple girl. I've never had many friends. Actually, none now that I think about it. We get along and we have fun. That's enough for me. And you must know by now that I don't shy away from danger."

"And the idea of my inevitable betrayal doesn't disturb you?"

Toph grinned at Azula's wry quip. She replied, "I'd be disappointed, but I'll live."

Azula's voice grew serious. She said, "Then we aren't really friends. When you're betrayed by a friend you want nothing more to do with them."

Toph shrugged. She said, "I'm not sure that's true. I suppose it depends on the betrayal and the strength of the bond you had before."

Privately, she thought about her parents. If she could still love them after everything they'd done to her... Nothing Azula could do out of cruelty would ever match the type of pain her mother and father could inflict out of misguided compassion.

"I suppose we have to agree to disagree then," Azula said with an air of finality.

Toph thought about pushing the matter of Mai and Ty Lee, but she decided that this was not the time. Instead, she said, "Why were you moping anyway? Is staying here really that awful?"

"Would _you_ like being a prisoner?"

"Oh, get off your high horse. You know what would really make you feel like a prisoner? _Prison!"_

Cutting off what she knew would be an outraged rant on her audacity, Toph continued, "How many big brothers do you know that would do all this to help their sisters?"

"Like Zuko really wants to help me," Azula said dismissively.

"Do you really think Zuko would go to all this trouble just to watch you suffer? That he's doing this out of revenge? You don't think he has _better _things to do?"

Toph shook her head in exasperation. She said, "I don't think you appreciate how much your brother has done for you. You're acting like an idiot, and I know you're smarter than that. You _know_ he's trying to help you!"

Toph could practically hear Azula grinding her teeth. The princess wasn't used to being questioned, and probably would have told Toph to get lost if it wouldn't have made her look like she was running away.

"I do know that," Azula finally said. "Zuko has always wanted to play the noble hero. And it pisses me off. I don't want his pity!"

Toph listened to the sound of Azula pacing around her room.

"He doesn't want to help me for _my_ sake. This is all to make himself feel better, to soothe his conscience. To do the 'right thing.' How couldn't he jump at the chance to reform his _evil_ sister? That's what _good_ brothers are supposed to do."

Azula pounded her fist against a wall. She shouted, "I'm a charity case! At least if this was revenge then I'd have his respect."

Toph crossed her arms. She replied mildly, "And people call _me_ unreasonable."

The sound of angry pacing stopped. Azula asked in a flat tone, "What do you mean by that?"

"I'm not entirely unsympathetic to your situation. I hate it when people want to help me 'for my own good.' But there's a difference between helping someone because you're looking down on them and helping someone because you want to help them.

"Yeah, Sparky's not exactly buddy-buddy with you but you have attacked him and his friends several times. You laugh at his pain. You insult him. Et cetera, et cetera. And you're surprised that he's not filled with warm and fuzzy feelings for you?

"I don't know if you've noticed but he's pretty much the only guy in your corner right now. I think that means something. You want him to give you respect? Earn it. Prove to him that you're not a lost cause."

"And give him the satisfaction-"

"This isn't about him! This is about you! You keep thinking about what you've lost, but there's no point in that. This is a chance to start a new life. Who cares where it comes from?"

Azula was silent, but Toph could tell that the girl was listening.

"Look at it this way. Zuko had to swallow his dignity and pride to get us to accept him. He put himself in the hands of people who had every reason in the world to hate him because he knew it was the only way to get out of the mess he found himself in. Are you saying that you don't have the courage to do the same?"

* * *

The annoying little earthbender was right.

Toph had left hours ago, but her words continued to echo around inside Azula's head. She hated to admit it. She hated that she once again had to see how she wasn't perfect. That it was possible for her to be wrong.

She could mope and whine like a little girl about how unfair life was and how she deserved better than this. Or she could grow up and accept the fact that her life hadn't turned out as she had planned.

Azula knew that Zuko wasn't putting on some elaborate revenge to get back at her (he was too much of a wuss for that), but it was much easier and more preferable to cast him in the role of the villain than accept that her brother was showing her mercy.

Her lips twisted in disgust. Mercy. Everyone spoke of it as a virtue, as a sign of strength. And maybe it was such a sign for the person giving mercy but for the one on the receiving end it was a sign that they couldn't succeed on their own. In a way, it wasn't any different from pity.

She could imagine her brother snorting with derision at such a thought. He would ask her if she would rather be dead than accept his help.

"_I'm offering you a chance, Azula, and I will only make this offer once."_

She had accepted his offer. No one had forced her. It was her choice and her choice alone.

Because she had grown tired of being alone.

She didn't need anyone. She had never needed anyone, but that didn't mean that it wasn't nice sometimes to have other people there.

If that was the case then maybe she shouldn't keep pushing people away. Though it appeared that there was at least one person who wouldn't be pushed. She supposed that was to be expected of someone who was part of the earth element.

Azula had honestly not expected that Toph would want to see her again. She thought she had lost whatever it was she had with the younger girl along with her bending and her opportunity for escape.

But the earthbender had forced her way into her room shouting her head off and distracted Azula from thinking about the loss of her firebending. The girl was rude, sarcastic, and reckless. She had a way of forcing Azula to face things that she would rather ignore.

The girl reminded her of Mai.

Mai was the only person who ever dared speak to her like she was an idiot. But even Mai, brave, stupid Mai, was always a little tense around her.

Toph wasn't afraid of her at all. Was it simply because Azula had no power over her or because she had fallen so far? But Toph didn't seem like someone who was scared of anything. And it was nice having someone want to be around her not because they were afraid of her or wanted something from her but simply because she wanted to be.

She hated to admit it but she was going to need help to get her bending back. That meant making nice with Zuko and his friends. She could do that. She would make a place for herself in this ridiculous new world she found herself in. After all, if an idiot like Zuko could do it then there was no reason she couldn't.

It was time to move forward.

Azula let out the breath she didn't know she was holding. She was still angry at Zuko for his holier than thou attitude and his manipulations of her, but she had enough self-awareness to admit that she was hardly in a position to cast stones. To be honest, she was far angrier at herself for allowing him to trick her like that.

If she wanted Zuko to treat her like an adult and an equal instead of a wayward child then she had to stop acting like a child. That didn't mean becoming the good little girl that Zuko wanted her to be though. She was still Azula, the girl who would rather have a manicure than go save a drowning kitten, and she had no intention of changing that.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a knock at the door.

Who could that be? Toph wouldn't bother to knock, and Zuko was in a meeting as far as she knew. Maybe it was the Avatar coming to yell at her for punching him in the face. Azula couldn't help but smile. That was never going to stop being funny.

She opened the door and the smile faded from her face.

"Ty Lee?"


	11. Transitions

**-Chapter 11: Transitions-**

"Ty Lee?"

Azula was too stunned to do anything but stare wordlessly at the sight of her former friend. The young circus performer looked back at her with an expression of worry and sadness. It was this look and simple curiosity that kept Azula from slamming her door in the other girl's face.

"What do you want?" Azula finally asked.

Ty Lee twisted her hands nervously. She stammered, "I was at home visiting my family. Zuko told me you were here... and I thought I'd come see how you were."

Azula crossed her arms and said coldly, "I thought you returned to the circus freaks. No, wait. My brother mentioned that you became part of a set of fighting dolls instead. So how's that individuality thing working out?"

Ty Lee withered under Azula's sneer, but she didn't say anything. She just looked quietly hurt.

Azula suddenly felt bad. And that made her feel annoyed. Somehow, Ty Lee was the only person who could make her feel bad for being mean to them. Most of the time, Azula could yell at and berate Ty Lee and the acrobatic girl would just take it with a smile. Then there were times when Ty Lee would take her sarcastic barbs seriously, and Azula would feel compelled to apologize.

But that was just because she didn't want to deal with a mopey lackey all day. She didn't do it because she cared about the other girl's feelings!

Right?

"You've seen me. I'm fine. Was there anything else?" Azula said.

Ty Lee had been looking at the floor with her eyes downcast, but she suddenly looked up at Azula with a steely look. She said, "I said that I wanted to talk to you. I think you owe me that much."

Azula wanted to retort that she didn't owe her a damn thing, but curiosity stayed her voice. She had never seen Ty Lee so resolute before. The girl was usually such a pushover, always wanting to please everyone. Opening the door wider, Azula said, "You have five minutes."

She carefully observed Ty Lee walk into the room. The girl still walked with all the gracefulness and agility that Azula remembered her possessing but there was also now a measure of control and stability in her step that hadn't been there before. This was probably a benefit of her warrior training with those Earth Kingdom girls. The fighting styles associated with the earth element had more of a focus on deep stances than the Fire Nation martial arts did.

Azula sat down on the edge of her bed and Ty Lee sat down on a chair near the window. There was a long moment of silence where the two girls simply stared at each other. Finally, Azula said, "Not that it matters to me but I think you've used up two of your minutes."

Ty Lee smiled sheepishly. She said, "Oh! I didn't mean to be rude. It's just... I couldn't help noticing how different your aura looks from the last time we saw each other."

"You make it sound like we had tea last week," Azula complained. "I threw you in prison. Don't pretend that everything's okay between us."

Ty Lee tilted her head slightly. She asked, "You want me to yell at you?"

"What I want is for you to stop dancing on eggshells and tell me why you're here. I find it hard to believe that you're talking to me out of some lingering affection. Did Zuko put you up to this?"

Ty Lee sighed. She said, "I guess we need to talk about the elephant-elk in the room first." She stood up and launched herself into a cartwheel that ended up with her walking around on her hands. Azula knew this was how Ty Lee worked off nervous energy so she didn't even blink an eye at this.

"I guess I was upset with you for locking me up at first, but it really wasn't that bad. I made a lot of new friends and learned a lot of new techniques. The Kyoshi Warriors helped me learn to be more confident," Ty Lee said. "I'm not mad at you about that anymore. You've had some experience with imprisonment yourself, so I think karma has evened the score between us. But there is one thing I'm still mad at you about, and that's you trying to kill Mai!"

Even though Azula was expecting it, she was still taken back by the accusatory tone in the other girl's voice. Her temper flaring, she said, "Do I have to remind you that Mai committed treason by helping an enemy of the state escape?"

"Do I have to remind you that Mai is one of your best friends? One of your _only _friends?" Ty Lee asked as she balanced herself on one hand.

"I don't think I like this new attitude of yours," Azula said with a frown.

"There were plenty of things about you that I never liked," Ty Lee said cheerfully as she sank into a front split. "You're rude, condescending, and mean. You never appreciated all the stuff I did for you. Never a thank you or anything. I could never figure out if I was actually your friend or just another servant."

Azula wanted to protest this negative characterization, but she couldn't think of anything to say.

Ty Lee finally settled down into a lotus position and looked at Azula with a serious expression. She said, "I also know about the side of you that you don't want anyone to know about. I've heard you cry for your mother in the middle of the night before. I've seen you trying to hide how upset you are because your father wouldn't pay attention to you. I remember you beating up the older girls at school who were mean to me. I remember the countless sleepovers you, me, and Mai had talking about boys and stupid gossip."

"That was in the past. You should move on," Azula said harshly. She turned her face away so Ty Lee wouldn't see how uncomfortable she felt. She had never realized before how many of her vulnerable moments the other girl had seen.

"It hurts when you do that," Ty Lee said softly. "It hurts when you push us away and try to pretend that we don't matter to you. And do you know what hurts most of all? It was seeing how you could so easily throw away everything that the three of us had built together."

"Mai threw it away first!" Azula shouted, turning to Ty Lee with clenched fists.

Ty Lee shook her head. She said, "You know better than that. There are some things that nobody will do even for their friends. It was not fair of you to expect Mai to just stand by and let you kill someone she loved. Making me choose between you and Mai was not fair to me, and it was not something I ever wanted to do."

"But you did do it. And you chose her," Azula said. Her words came out sounding sadder than she wanted.

"And if Mai had been trying to kill you, I would have chosen to help you," Ty Lee replied gently. "You always do this. You're always pushing and testing to see how far we will go for you. I think that deep down you don't believe that we really care about you. But I do care. About both of you. Friendship is not a zero sum game, Azula."

Maybe it wasn't that way to Ty Lee, but Ty Lee had always been able to make friends easily. She didn't need the tools of fear and greed to get people to want to be around her, but Azula was different. Ever since she was young, she had been surrounded by sycophants who only talked to her because her father was the Fire Lord. They either wanted to curry favor with him through his daughter or they were afraid of what he would do to them if they made her unhappy.

It had taken some time, but Azula eventually learned to use these reactions to her advantage. Her mother had insisted that she make friends so she selected two girls in her school whose skills would best complement her own. She was under no illusions that Ty Lee and Mai would have become her friends out of their own free will, so she used a bit of her influence on their families. Pretty soon, the parents of both girls were falling over themselves to have their daughters be companions to the princess.

That was the power of self-interest. Give people a reason to fear you or a way to enrich themselves through you and they would do anything to make you happy. This way was much more reliable than relying on erratic and unpredictable emotions like love. Her mother had told her she loved her. Where was she now?

Ty Lee was staring at her carefully. She asked, "Do you wish things could have turned out differently back then? Do you regret what happened at all?"

Azula didn't say anything. How could she? She was Fire Princess Azula. She didn't do regret.

"I see," Ty Lee said with a heavy sigh. "I guess there's nothing more to say then. I am glad to see you doing better. I hope things work out well for you. Goodbye, Azula."

As Azula watched Ty Lee head toward the door, a sense of panic welled up inside her. The part of her that felt hurt and betrayed by Ty Lee fought with the part which remembered how long they had been together. She knew that if she allowed the other girl to leave now then there was a real possibility that she might never see her again.

_Good riddance! There's no use for traitors!_

_But did she really betray you? _

_She defied me!_

_She stopped you from doing something irreversible and stupid._

_Even so... it's too late. I abandoned her. I severed all ties with her. _

_She came back. Are you really going to let your pride ruin this?_

_I can't... I can't let her hurt me again. _

_Does that mean Ty Lee is more than a mere lackey to you?_

_I..._

_You always say that you never regret a choice you make. If you fail to speak now, won't you regret that?_

"Ty Lee!"

Ty Lee stopped and turned her head toward Azula. She said, "Yes?"

Azula struggled to push out her next words as she said, "I may have... overreacted. In the heat of the moment, I may have allowed my disappointment with my brother's escape get the better of me."

Ty Lee stared at her, and Azula looked back at her squarely in the eye. A part of her hesitated at the idea of letting Ty Lee get close to her again, but she had never allowed fear to rule her before and she didn't intend to start now.

Azula said, "I understand the reasons for your actions that day, and I should have expected it. Your attack caught me by surprise and it shouldn't have. I've always known that you were the type of person who would do stupid things for her friends. Because you're loyal. That was one of the reasons I picked you to be by my side. Knowing that, I can't honestly blame you for doing what you did. I'm... glad you came to see me."

It wasn't quite an apology and Azula hadn't mentioned Mai at all, but that was all she had to say. If Ty Lee couldn't accept that then...

Ty Lee's tackle caught her by complete surprise.

Azula's muscles instantly tensed as she fell back toward the carpet then relaxed when she realized that the other girl was simply hugging her. She stared up at the ceiling with a bemused expression while Ty Lee sobbed into her shoulder about how much she missed her.

Ty Lee was always so foolish and impulsive. Any rational person would have run as far away from Azula as she possibly could once she had the chance. What kind of idiot would intentionally and even cheerfully put herself back in the grip of a madwoman? Who would forgive someone that they themselves characterized as 'rude, condescending, and mean'?

Someone Azula would never understand. Someone who was far braver than she could ever be.

* * *

Azula's body flowed through the latest waterbending kata she had found in her books.

She still despised the waterbenders with every fiber of her being, but she had never been one to turn away useful knowledge simply because she disliked where it came from. And these katas relaxed her and allowed her to move freely without having to worry about setting off the manacles. At least not for awhile.

Now that she thought about it, she could probably get away with performing some firebending movements for longer than usual without triggering her restraints. According to Doctor Kuzon, her body temperature was now lower than that of the average firebender. She felt much colder these days without the steady throb of bending energy pulsing through her veins.

Ty Lee had examined her chi pathways over the last two days, but even the chi mistress had yet to find a way to unravel the mess that had become of her energy meridians. Azula had been slightly disappointed, but she wasn't exactly surprised. There was no way her problem would have been resolved so easily. It seemed for the moment that she was destined to be powerless. She had no intention of allowing that to remain the status quo, but she had no ideas even where to begin looking for a solution.

Well, that wasn't quite true. There were always her brother's words to consider. They may have been mumbo-jumbo psychobabble, but she had no other leads to follow. She had no objection to looking inward. She had plenty of practice doing that while she was institutionalized, even if most of her introspection consisted of self-recrimination for having the idiocy and weakness to self-destruct and go insane.

Was she experiencing a spiritual crisis? She didn't even know what that question meant. She didn't deny the existence of entities like the Avatar and spirits, but she had never given much thought to them before that annoying, bald monk appeared either. She had no use for beings that she could not fight or control. And she had never noticed that her irreverence, for lack of a better word, had any effect whatsoever on her firebending.

Maybe she should reframe the question. Had she somehow 'lost her way'? What had she expected her future to be? She had often fantasized about being Fire Lord, but she knew from watching her father that the reality of the position was not as glamorous as she imagined. She enjoyed power but power had to be fun too or else there was little point to it.

Even so, she wouldn't have refused the crown if it somehow fell in her lap, but neither was she going to raise her hopes for something that would never happen. She was a pragmatist, and she had known since childhood that her father would never choose her as his successor. There was no law per se against a woman becoming Fire Lord, but it had only happened a few times in history. The weight of tradition was sometimes stronger than any law, and her father was very much a traditionalist.

Eventually, he would either have recalled Zuko from his pointless mission or taken on a consort to bear him a male heir. Either way, she had not expected him to relinquish power for a very long time no matter who his heir was. Maybe she would have grown tired of being the dutiful daughter and decided to 'speed things along' one day, but she was a teenager and even her dark, demented mind was not willing to go _that_ far for power.

It had been a complete shock when Father left her in charge of the Fire Nation. She wondered if he would have done it if he had any other choice. There was no point wondering about it. It didn't matter anymore, and it wasn't what this trip down memory lane was about.

So what had she expected from her life? She expected to at least become one of her father's war generals. Her father had no problems with female warriors, and he never would have wasted her talents marrying her off to some pathetic noble. Fighting was what she knew and what she was good at. She had been helping her father plan military campaigns since she was twelve. She fully expected to get a seat on the War Council one day. In some ways, that would be much better than being Fire Lord. She'd have the power and perks that came along with commanding the military without the headaches of having to deal with whining nobles and peasants.

Her future would have been a bright and glorious one. She would have won the war and then enjoyed spending another many years crushing the insurgencies that would inevitably arise. Her name would have gone down in history as _the _hero of the 100 year war.

But that would never happen now.

Her problem was really quite simple. She had lost the strength that came from knowing what one's purpose in life was. She had lost her belief in herself.

"Azula?"

Azula turned and saw her brother standing in the doorway of her room.

"I knocked, but I don't think you heard me," Zuko said with an apologetic smile. Then his smile faded. "I think we should talk about what happened."

Azula shrugged conveying an air of nonchalance that she definitely did not feel. She said, "What is there to talk about? You tricked me, and I didn't take it very well."

"That's putting it lightly," Zuko said dryly.

"I threw a tantrum and tried to kill you," Azula continued. "Aside from the first part, I think I've just described the majority of our interactions. Oh, I also lost my bending for no apparent reason. Which part did you want to talk about again?"

"I've been thinking that I haven't thought this rehabilitation project of mine through very well," Zuko replied.

Azula crossed her arms and she said in a bored tone, "What was your first clue?"

"I'd focused so much of my effort into making sure you wouldn't be a danger to me or my friends that I'd ignored the elephant in the room. I don't like you and you don't like me. And we certainly don't trust each other."

Zuko was finally saying something interesting, so Azula found herself actually giving him her full attention.

"There's a lot of bad blood between us, and this will never work if we don't clear the air. You really scared me the other day, Azula. I'm used to you trying to kill me. And that's a sad and twisted statement in itself. But you were willing to die to get back at me, and that really disturbs me."

"I wasn't thinking clearly. I was worn out and under a lot of stress. All I wanted to do was wipe that smug look off your face, and I didn't care what I had to do to accomplish that. It wasn't a moment that I was particularly proud of when I woke up and was able to think logically about my actions," Azula replied.

"One doesn't have to be suicidal to think that it would be so much easier if one simply didn't wake up one morning. I'm not really worried about that though. If you truly wanted to kill yourself instead of just lashing out at me you would have done it by now. You've never been afraid to make tough decisions. No, what I'm concerned about is the level of resentment you have toward me."

"I wonder why that would be," Azula said with a mocking tone.

Zuko gave her an unamused look. He said, "I'm not talking about recent events. I'm talking about my entire life. You've always hated me and I never understood why."

"I didn't _always_ hate you," Azula said with a roll of her eyes. "It's not like I was plotting your downfall since the cradle. Don't be such a drama queen."

Zuko thought about this for a moment then he nodded. He said, "Okay, I take it back. You were always _annoyed_ by my existence, which I believe is a requirement of being a little sister, but you didn't start detesting me until about a couple of years ago. My question is still the same though, and I'd like you to stop deflecting it. Why? What have I ever done to you?"

Azula turned away. She said, "I don't have to tell you anything."

"No, you don't, but I just want to understand. You were better than me at everything. I wasn't a threat to you in any way. Is this really all because you thought Mother loved me more than you?"

Azula whirled around and glared at her brother. She said, "You make it sound like I'm just holding a childish grudge over an imaginary slight. There was nothing imaginary about it. Even a fool could have seen that you were the favorite child."

Zuko stared at her with evident disbelief in his eyes. "Azula-"

Azula cut his protest off as she said, "Of course you were the favorite. You were the oldest, the first-born. You were the male heir. Most of all, you were perfectly average in every way."

"I get the first two reasons. I don't agree with you, but I understand what you're saying. But you're going to have to explain the last one to my perfectly average mind," Zuko said wryly.

Azula frowned at him as she replied, "People admire genius, Zuko, but they don't love it. Especially not in a child. It makes them uncomfortable. Mother treated me like some strange alien creature. Father saw me as a tool he could turn into perfect warrior, but that was all. But you... he was disappointed in you every day but he still saw you as his _son_. I was pretty much just another soldier to him. You were the one he wanted to follow in his footsteps and become Fire Lord. I was just your _backup_."

"I really can't say anything about the relationship between you and Mother because I don't what was going on, but I firmly believe there's more to the story here."

"So it was all just in my head then?" Azula asked tightly.

"I didn't say that! I just want to hear our mother's side of things first before I pass judgment," Zuko said.

Azula's ear perked at the mention of their mother. She wanted to ask about Zuko's search for her but Zuko had already started talking again.

"As for Father... I don't know how I feel about him anymore. He _burned _me. He banished me. He was somehow involved in the incident that got Grandfather killed and Mother banished. And from you've been telling me, he hasn't exactly been Father of the Year to you either. I'm sorry about that, but it's not fair of you to take it out on me."

"Rest assured, Zuzu, there are _many _reasons why I don't like you," Azula said. "There's no need to bring in latent mommy-daddy issues."

Zuko sighed. Then he said, "You're not exactly Miss Congeniality, but I try to put that aside. Because we're family."

"And families look out for each other. Rainbows and kittens, blah blah blah," Azula said, waving her hand dismissively.

"Yes, they do. But I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't believe something would come out of it. I may be a sucker for lost causes, but even I'm not enough of a glutton for punishment to put myself through all of this for nothing. Your being my sister just means I know you well enough to justify my belief."

"So tell me then. What makes you so certain that I'm worth saving?" Azula asked. Her voice dripped with sarcasm, but she was genuinely curious.

Zuko looked at her seriously. He said, "I once said you weren't a monster. I still believe that. What you are is a ruthless pragmatist."

"And this is an improvement in your eyes," Azula stated, giving him a look that said she was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Immensely. You'll lie and cheat and manipulate everyone around you to further your own ends. Concepts like honor and mercy hold little sway over you. But you don't inflict suffering for its own sake or because you enjoy it. There's always a reason for it. You make a lot of gruesome threats, but nobody I've talked to can remember you doing more than giving them a good scare. You've never been afraid to hand out corporal punishment to the people under your command when it was called for but you've never gone overboard. I can name many commanders who lacked such restraint."

Azula wrinkled her nose distastefully. She said, "I wanted my men to fear me, but I didn't want them thinking I was a savage brute. Destroying or killing my men just to make a point is a waste of military resources. As I've told you before, the threat is often more effective than the deed itself."

"You've just proved my point," Zuko said. "You're more concerned about showing how clever and intelligent you are than about being truly sadistic. You're the most disciplined person I know. Your 'subjects' in Ba Sing Se were terrified of you but more because of what you said you'd do to them if they disobeyed you rather than anything you actually did."

"Don't be making me out to be better than I am," Azula said seriously. "I never make promises that I don't intend to back up."

Zuko looked her directly in the eye. He said, "I believe that. I also believe that you don't go out of your way to find reasons to honor such promises. If you were truly evil then there's nothing I can do for you. But if you're just selfish then I can work with that."

"Sounds like you've given this a lot of thought."

"I didn't do any of this on a whim. This has never been about getting you to bend to my will. I've always known that the best I'd be able to get was a truce. Because if your goals aligned with mine then I could trust you because it would serve both our interests. I won't lie. I wouldn't be disappointed if over the course of things you discovered that the world doesn't exist solely for your amusement. You're barely fifteen years old, Azula. It's a bit too early to write you off."

To her great annoyance, Azula found herself actually feeling moved. She snapped, "You've always been at making pretty speeches, Zuko, but you haven't exactly been a shining beacon of cooperation and openness lately."

Zuko looked mildly regretful. He said, "I will admit that I did not give as much thought as I should have about how you would feel about this. I apologize for that. I shouldn't have withheld information from you. I can't expect trust if I'm not willing to extend it myself."

Azula was taken back. She had not expected Zuko to actually apologize to her.

"Azula, I really do want this to work. And it seemed like until fairly recently things were going pretty well."

"I can see why you would think that. Just because I'm not constantly causing trouble it doesn't mean I'm happy. I'm glad to be out of the mental ward, but all you've really done is given me a bigger cell to live in. I know from your point of view that this is more than I deserve, but you haven't given me any real incentive to care about what you want. What about what I want?"

"What do you want then?" Zuko asked.

What did she want? She wanted many things. She wanted her bending back. She wanted her freedom. She wanted her life back. But these were not things Zuko could give her. There was still plenty, however, that he could give her. Whether he would was a different question entirely.

"I want to go outside."

Cutting off her brother's inevitable protest, Azula said, "I need to interact with other people besides you, your friends, and the servants. You can't expect me to change if the only people I see are the ones who have never known me any other way than I am now. I'm _not _going to try to escape in the middle of broad daylight, especially when I can't bend. I just need to get away from being confined."

"I'll have to think about it," Zuko said after a long moment.

Azula hadn't expected any other response to her request so this non-committal statement didn't faze her. The important thing was that he hadn't immediately rejected her. She also knew he wasn't merely humoring her by the look on his face. He was serious about working with her. As long as she was reasonable then he would treat her the same way in kind.

"I want your word that you will actually consider letting me go one day."

"What?" Zuko asked, obviously surprised.

"I'm not asking for a specific date. I'm not even asking you to give up the option of locking me up and throwing away the key if it comes to that. I'm not delusional. I just want some assurance that there's a real point to this. That I'm not just going to end up on some guarded estate in the country after you get bored with me."

Zuko looked like he didn't know how to reply. Azula narrowed her eyes. She said, "You do have an endgame to this plan of yours, don't you?"

"I do. I'm just now sure if it's same to let you know it. How do I know that you won't use such a promise as an excuse to simply bide your time until I lower my guard?" Zuko asked.

"You don't," Azula said simply. "Just like I have no guarantee that you would honor any promises you'd make to me. But there's no real stake unless both of us has something to lose."

Zuko stood silently in the doorway for a long time before he said, "I have no problems with making such a promise. But I will do you even one better. To eliminate the possibility that bias would affect any evaluation I make of you, I promise to have an objective third party periodically determine if you can safely be released."

"Like a court?" Azula asked.

"Something like that," Zuko replied.

It sounded like Zuko already had someone in mind, and, judging from the look on his face, it didn't seem likely he'd tell her who it was. That was the sort of thing that riled her paranoia even when she knew her brother was too stupidly honorable to rig any kind of hearing against her. She would let this slide for now, but she would be seeking reassurances in the future. After all, that was the foundation of their negotiations today. Trust, but verify.

"Was there anything else?" Zuko asked.

There was one more request she had, but it was almost too embarrassing to say. It was practically an admission of weakness. But she had already come this far. So, with a clenched fist, she muttered, "I want to be useful."

Zuko just looked puzzled. Naturally, the idiot wouldn't realize how galling it was for her to tell him that she wanted to help to help him in some way. But it wasn't because she particularly wanted to help _Zuko. _She needed something to do besides lounge around the palace all day. She'd had thoughts of escape to focus her attention on before, but now she needed another goal. She needed something to fill the void where her ambition used to live.

"You are being useful," Zuko said. "You're teaching Aang how to improve his firebending."

Azula rolled her eyes. She said, "We both know that teaching is not where my strength lies. I need a challenge. I'm a warrior, Zuko. Or at least I used to be. I can't just sit around thinking good thoughts until the day you _might _let me go. Because even if I did get my freedom, there would still be the question of what happens after that. I need something to work toward. Something to fight for. I need a future."

"I'll see what I can do," Zuko said.

After Zuko left the room, Azula felt the tension in her neck and shoulders melt away. She had done it. She had told her brother she was willing to work with him, and she had meant it. It hadn't been as bad as she thought it would be. Now only time would tell if she had made the right decision.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

I think I'll be wrapping up this story soon. In a few chapters at the most. This story has been a very interesting one to write, but I feel that I need to find a natural stopping point as it has the potential to go on forever if I allowed it and I don't really have the time or inclination that such a project would require. It's been a fun ride, and I hope to come up with a good ending for this story.


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